Best Bet

The therapist leaned over us, concern etched into every facet of his face. “Let’s play some word association,” he said.

He began. “Banana.”

“Bunch.”

“Kitchen.”

“Mother.”

“Stove.”

“Mother.”

“Ah-ha!” He was ecstatic. “Both kitchen and stove remind you of your mother because they symbolize the coziness, warmth and security she provided and which you have not been able to obtain since.” He looked very satisfied about his discovery.

“Yes!” we cried, sitting up. “We can see her . . .”

“Yes, yes, go on . . ., “ he said.

“We can see her in the kitchen . . . bending over a hot stove . . . but we can’t see the stove!” Haw-haw. What a schlemiel.

He took a few moments to compose himself.

“Pie,” the therapist finally said.

“Malibu. A festival. It’ll offer pie-eating contests, a celebrity auction and judging by the likes of Cheech Marin, Max Gail and Martin Sheen, vendors, apple bobbing and face painting for children. At the Malibu Country Mart, 3835 Cross Creek Road, from noon to 4 p.m. Oct. 27. Admission is free. For information call (213) 457-7505.”

“I make a mean strudel,” he said, taking the couch.