<i> Nyet-</i> Sayers Weigh Bradley Offer to Soviets

Rytvina , ulichnyi fonar and shlam .

These are the Russian words for potholes, street lights and sludge--as some Los Angeles city workers may soon learn after their exportation to Leningrad.

On the surface, all this might sound a little ominous, a variation perhaps on the “off-to-Siberia-with-you” fate that was once the stuff of dark Russian novels and Russian politics. But, in these historic times, it is Mayor Tom Bradley’s vision of glasnost .

This week, during a champagne toast in the Soviet Union, the mayor announced that Leningrad will be Los Angeles’ 17th sister city, and offered the services of city workers to help the foreign metropolis rebuild itself after decades of neglect.

But as the news of the mayor’s international generosity spread back home in City Hall, the nyet -sayers noted that Los Angeles itself could use a little perestroik a to help fix up its own bureaucracy and streets.

“The mayor’s going to have to do some talking to convince me,” said City Councilman Ernani Bernardi. “It’s a full-time job just taking care of this city and the many problems we have. The city departments are screaming about lack of funds and budget cuts. We aren’t doing the job here in Los Angeles, so what makes us such experts to tell some other city how to run their operation?”

Added Councilman Zev Yaroslavsky, chairman of the council’s finance committee: “If we have extra funds, we might get more police officers in the streets of Los Angeles. Of course, maybe they could send us some KGB officers in exchange for our street workers.”

“You know,” he added, “I’m not even sure it’s legal to pay a street maintenance man in Los Angeles to fill a pothole in Leningrad.”

Chief Assistant City Atty. James Pearson said he sees no problem with Los Angeles workers lending a hand abroad for a limited time. The expenditure is permissible, he said, because it could be viewed as benefiting the city’s image and trade potential.

Although the mayor has not disclosed how many employees might be dispatched across the world, some in the city family said they would be thrilled to be part of such a historic undertaking. Already, they are coming up with myriad suggestions for Leningrad officials to gentrify their city, including recycling asphalt to rebuild roads, producing electricity from Soviet sludge and even teaching Soviet accountants how to depreciate office equipment.

Leonard Applebaum, chief accountant for the Los Angeles Department of General Services, was not exactly enthusiastic at first about lending the Soviets his expertise when a reporter asked him about Bradley’s plan.

“To tell you the truth,” he confided, “we are developing next year’s budget, and it is not looking too good. Money is tight and there is no room for cushions. I couldn’t afford to go even if I was invited. . . . And come back and find my desk piled up?”

But then Applebaum paused. “You know,” he said. “I just might have some things to share with the Soviets. The mayor might have an idea there. What the heck--it might be fun. I could sacrifice my vacation to give a helping hand. But not during winter over there.”

The idea to send Los Angeles city harbor masters, accountants, lawyers and jacks-of-all-techno-trades to the grand, but deteriorating, Soviet city surfaced last year when council members Joan Milke Flores and Joel Wachs toured Leningrad. Upon their return, they enthusiastically introduced a motion to make Leningrad a sibling city.

The two places seemed well matched. Both are cultural centers, both are the second-largest cities in their countries, and both have large ports. The full council agreed, as did the mayor, who began to envision a plan that would send a “human core of volunteers” to help Leningrad cope with its political and economic problems, Deputy Mayor Mark Fabiani recalled.

“The notion (was not) that people would be paid by the taxpayers in the process,” Fabiani said. Under the original plan, he maintained, Leningrad was expected to provide room and board, and any city workers who wanted to participate in the Peace Corps-style mission would use leaves and vacation time--”not necessarily city money.”

But in Leningrad on Wednesday, the sister city situation escalated, as events on the world stage often do: Bradley offered the expertise of city workers on the city payroll.

Perhaps like Peter the Great when he built the first fort there in 1703, the mayor was inspired by the sunrise along the Neva River or maybe the gilded dome of St. Isaac’s Cathedral.

“I think that the mayor just got carried away during that toast over there,” Yaroslavsky speculated. “When he gets a look at our city’s severe budget problems, he may re-evaluate those promises to Leningrad.”

Even Councilwoman Flores, who pushed the original sisterhood plan, seemed a little nervous about Bradley’s largess.

“If we could reconcile the budget problems I’d favor it,” she said, “but I would like to see more private industry doing it.”

For example, Flores said, a friend who owns a Los Angeles menudo factory offered to help Leningrad food manufacturers update the food preservation techniques that the Soviets say they need so badly. (Would Russian gourmets actually trade their beet-based borscht for the Mexican soup made of tripe?) Among the many tasks that the Soviets need help with are public works projects.

Although Los Angeles Public Works Commissioner Dennis Nishikawa and his street maintenance director, Pat Howard, are not packed yet and do not know any Russian--”There’s always Berlitz courses,” Nishikawa quipped--both said they would like to help their Leningrad counterparts. Howard said his crews have had plenty of experience.

Last year, they repaired more than 200,000 potholes and used nearly 1 million tons of asphalt to repair the 7,600 miles of city roads. But roadwork in Leningrad, one of the world’s northernmost cities, is a bit different.

Howard said he suspects that the melting snow there plays havoc with the pavement. Water seeps into the pavement, and when traffic passes over it, the water is forced up like geysers, bringing dirt and pavement with it.

Then again, he admitted: “I’m not even sure what kind of roads they have over there. Asphalt? Concrete? Cobblestones?”