Sure, It Was Quite a Game
“Well, that’s more like it!”
--Clancy the Optimist, as Irish went ahead.
“Can we have a tune?”
--Carmody the Paper-Hanger.
“ ‘Peg O’My Heart” would be nice.”
--Kelleher the Sentimentalist.
“John MacCormack could sing like a bird.”
--Fagan the Publican.
“A thrush.”
--Killian the Poet.
“He was never any good at the folk tunes. He sang best in Eye-talian. He knew every opera by heart.”
--Hogan the Art Critic.
“He could sing Eye-talian like a gondola driver.”
--Morgan the Head Waiter.
“Like a thrush.”
--Killian the Poet.
“We didn’t even need the Gipper.”
--McGonigle, Himself, the Lord Mayor.
“He was ready if we needed him.”
--Corrigan the Moderate Drinker.
“We needed him last week.’
--Finnegan the Hair-Cutter.
“This is the game we had to win. It’s always hardest to beat these heathens. What is it they call themselves--the Pagans?”
--McClanahan,the Room Clerk.
“The Trojans. They call themselves the Trojans.”
--Houlihan the Tinsmith.
“What’s a Trojan?”
--O’Doul the Street Sweeper.
“It’s some kind of infidel in a hat with a brush in it. They went to war on wooden horses.”
--Tumulty the Historian.
“ ‘Tis what gave us the idea for the merry-go-round.”
--Kerrigan the Expert On Everything.
“Did anybody think to bring a bottle?”
--O’Casey the Cesspool Pumper.
“We’ll drink a toast to that little fellow--what is it they call him? The Missile?”
--Horan the Florist.
“The Rocket. They call him The Rocket.”
--Higgins the Hod Carrier.
“Johnny Rocket, is it? Does he have a name a’tall?”
--Horan the Busybody.
“Ismail. Call him Ismail. Raghib Ismail.”
--Higgins the Hod Carrier.
“Mother of God! Well, ‘tis a grand old Notre Dame name. One of the Four Horsemen was named Ismail now, was he not? Or was it Elmer?”
--Horan the Florist.
“I could do without the field goals.”
--Dunnigan the Part-Time Postman.
“Rockne had no need of field goals.”
--Quinn the Criminal Lawyer.
“They didn’t have field goals in Rockne’s day. We’ve gotten soft.”
--Conway the Petty Thief.
“Didn’t we used to win this thing 51-0 and 38-7?”
--Cobbler O’Finn the Peat Cutter.
“The fumbles killed us.”
--O’Brien the Four Flusher.
“Gipp never fumbled.”
--Kinsella the Chronic Liar.
“When we had the ball on the two-yard-line first and goal, shouldn’t we have scored?”
--Costello the Truth Seeker.
“The Four Horsemen would have scored. All four of them.”
--Pilney the Historian.
“It was part of the coach’s strategy. Sometimes you don’t want to score too early.”
--Dancey the Long Range Strategist.
“There were four minutes and three seconds to go.”
--Curley the Unconvinced.
“I once saw Lujack himself slip on the two-yard-line.”
--Hanrahan the True Believer.
“Gipp never slipped.”
--Kinsella the Chronic Liar.
“Gipp went to Mass every morning.”
--Kelly the Echo.
“Does this coach have a clue?”
--Linehan the Latin Scholar.
“Well, he’s no Rockne, now, is he?”
--Clubber Carnahan the White Hope.
“Rockne never won a game, 10-6. Rockne won here 27-0 the last game he coached.”
--Fiddler Faraday the Day Bartender.
“What’s this coach’s name again--Hootch?”
--Clubber Carnahan Again.
“It’s Holtz. Lou Holtz or some such.”
--Paddy McNMulty from Roscommon.
“What kind of a a name is that for a coach? It’s a name for a comedian.”
--Tierney the Taxi driver.
“There are those who say he’s really Woody Allen. He walks the sideline like a guy looking for a collar button.”
--Liam O’Faolain,
No Relation To the Playwright.
“He has no interest in the game.”
--Kerrigan the Authority On Everything.
“Rockne never took his eyes off the game.”
--Kelly the Echo.
“Can we have some sense of order here? Who won the game now, after all?”
--Patrick the Prgmatist.
“Rockne used to throw games like these back. Rockne would be ashamed to win only 10-6. Against these heathens.’
--Cobbler O’Finn Himself.
“Rockne never beat anybody 10-6. He’d rather lose.”
--Kelly the Echo.
“Can’t we have a pint and leave off the philosophizing. Someone’s always throwing overalls in the chowder. Are we going to the Orange Bowl or aren’t we?”
--Patrick the Pragmatist.
“Rockne would never go to the Orange bowl.”
--Kelly the Echo.
“The ex-President ran the coin flip.”
--Hannegan the Pundit.
“The President of what?
--Cobbler O’Finn.
“Of the United States, you great dimwit!”
--Hannegan the Pundit.
“He played Gipp in the fillums. We made him.”
--Kelly the Echo.