“Why are you sitting on the roof...

“Why are you sitting on the roof of the garage?” the Formidable Companion asked.

“Trying to keep the alligators at an arm’s length,” we said.

She fixed us with a stare. Some explanation was clearly in order.

“Haven’t you looked around, lately?” we said. “The world is going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks in a handbasket.”

“Always has, always will be,” she said.

She was going to have to do better than that. We told her about Mr. Turner, our next-door neighbor, sicking his pet on us that very morning. That was the last straw.

“But it’s a cat,” she said.

“Not just a cat,” we said. “A 17-pound irate tabby.”

“Come down now,” she said.

We told her to send up our easy chair. We were going to be here for a while.

“Give us one good reason to come down,” we said. “Just one.” It was growing cold, but we still had a desire to be wooed in some way.

Because, she said, some part of us is still a child who would enjoy the Oakland Ballet performing “The Nutcracker” at Smothers Theatre at Pepperdine University in Malibu. Showtimes are 2 and 7 p.m. today, and admission is $22. For information call (213) 456-4522.

Because, she said, when the world seems that serious a couple of nyuk-nyuk-nyuks are in order, and the Three Stooges will be honored at a 60th anniversary celebration at the Improv, 8162 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood, at 7 p.m. Wednesday. Admission is free. For information call (213) 659-6400.

And because we wouldn’t be up on the roof of the garage if we didn’t care, and Caring for Babies with AIDS will hold its fourth annual fund-raising walk at Santa Monica Boulevard and Palm Drive in Beverly Hills, today at 8 a.m. A $15 donation is asked. For information call (213) 931-9828.

She had us. And so we came down for all those reasons, and the most important one. Her.