Maybe They Should Call It the Chiba Weed Eater Bowl

In the state of Chiba, directly east of Tokyo, an association of Japanese golf course owners has had it with the “flowers of evil that spoil our greens.”

This is not a horticultural issue. The course owners are determined to weed out Japan’s “tattooed men,” i.e., gangsters, who have been attracted in growing numbers to the sport’s elite level.

Eric Talmadge of the Associated Press reported that the Council to Rid Chiba Golf Courses of Gangsters recently published 30,000 copies a new edition of a 20-page pamphlet that first appeared two years ago.

The pamphlet’s message is clear: “We will not allow gangsters to join our clubs, not allow them on our courses and we will not allow them in our showers.”

Add golfing gangsters: The pamphlet offers tips on how to identify gangsters: “Most of them drive expensive foreign cars and are surrounded by bodyguards or underlings. They wear their hair in tight, short curls or have shaved heads and wear sunglasses.

“Part of the little finger on their left hand is missing. If they are missing any other fingers you can assume that is because of an accident, and does not indicate they are gangsters. To hide their tattoos they wear long-sleeved shirts even in the summer.”

Trivia time: In 1993, the San Antonio Riders of the World League of American Football will move to their permanent home stadium. Can you name it?

Proud company: Reader James Humberd asks: “In the National Football League this year, what do Atlanta, Seattle, Denver and the New York Jets have in common with the eventual Super Bowl winner?”

The answer: They are the only teams to finish the season with a victory. Nine of the 10 remaining playoff teams will lose their final games of the season, and the other 14 already have lost theirs.

Command performance: Former New York Met outfielder Ron Swoboda, now a sportscaster for a New Orleans television station, said earlier in the NFL season that if the Saints, 2-5 at the time, finished with a winning record, “I’ll strip to my skivvies, paint my body black and gold and sing ‘When the Saints Go Marching In’ in front of One Shell Square (a downtown business location).”

Although New Orleans finished 8-8, the station was flooded with calls after the team’s victory over the Rams Monday.

Swoboda said that “given the magnitude of this team making the playoffs, I said here’s a deal: If I can raise $1,000 for the Leukemia Foundation in two days, I’ll do it.”

In blustery 50-degree weather Friday, Swoboda, dressed and painted as promised, did it.

Pregame sour grapes: Before his team defeated Texas, 46-3, in the Cotton Bowl, Miami Coach Dennis Erickson said: “With all the scrutiny the guy who’s voted No. 1 is going to get, I’m not so sure it wouldn’t be better to finish second. All you get is a ring, anyway.”

Revealing math: Cincinnati Bengal Coach Sam Wyche said last week he received $30,000 in contributions after NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue’s fining him $27,941 for keeping a female reporter out of the team’s locker room.

Wyche, who paid the fine out of his own pocket, donated the money that came in from 37 states and 12 countries to a local charity for the homeless.

Wyche said someone in the league office, whose name he withheld, sent a Christmas card with a note that read: “Sam, you know Zeke Mowatt got fined $12,000 for exposing himself and you got fined $30,000 for trying to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. You could have saved $18,000 by exposing yourself.”

Trivia answer: The Alamodome.

Quotebook: Injured Dallas guard Lafayette Lever, after watching Sacramento center Ralph Sampson limp up and down the court in a Maverick-King game: “I thought, ‘Is this what I’ve got to look forward to?’ It put fear in my heart.”