UCSD Officials Aren’t Laughing at Student Humor Tabloid’s Jibes

Twice monthly, a student humor publication at UC San Diego called Koala pokes fun at things around campus.

Now the administration has poked back, leading to a mini-flap about ridicule, taste and the First Amendment.

It started when Koala employed a more in-your-face tone than usual: a 16-page parody of a supermarket tabloid, putting UCSD administrators in the spots usually reserved for Elvis, Madonna and extra-terrestrials.

Hence the front-page screamer: “Tommy Tucker ATE My Love Child,” Sobs Chancellor Atkinson. With pictures of a newborn baby, Atkinson, and Tucker sticking a fork in his mouth.

For the record: Tucker is both portly and an assistant vice chancellor; Atkinson reached an out-of-court settlement some years ago with a former lover who said he had reneged on a promise to impregnate her.

“Weekly World Koala” also reported that Joe Watson’s bodily fluids are a good sun block. Watson, who is black, is a vice chancellor.

Other Koala exclusives included “hot sex” in campus elevators, a parking cop being shot, and “I Have Tenure: Getting Away With Murder While Obtaining Research Grants.”

Plus an advice column called “Yo Bitch”; a list of job openings (aluminum can collector, Kuwait correspondent, street mime and protester-by-the-hour), and a fetus enrolling as a student:

“We here at Fifth College are dedicated to increasing the enrollment of minority groups, and yes that includes unborn fetuses too.”

When 8,000 copies appeared on campus last week, Koala’s business manager got an immediate phone call from Koala adviser Randy Woodard, who works for Tucker.

Woodard used words like tasteless, racist, sexist and, chilliest of all, libel suit.

“It was so obviously hokey, I can’t believe anyone took it seriously,” said co-editor Greg Huffstutter, a literature and writing major.

Woodard said he was only passing on complaints from others around campus and reminding Koala that even humorists can be sued. He said he did not ask that the edition be withdrawn.

Still, Koala editors opted not to distribute the final 2,000 copies.

Huffstutter and others met briefly with Atkinson. The chancellor told them that he had no problem with the sendup but thought it was a bit rough on Tucker.

The student newspaper, the Guardian, editorialized that Koala had folded too quickly: “Koala Should Have Fought the Power.” This despite the Koala story “revealing” that the Guardian is run by drunks.

Woodard said he does not/will not censor Koala. He only wants the staff to remember that “one person’s humor is another person’s misery.”

Koala editors insist that their “goodwill gesture” in withholding the 2,000 copies should not be interpreted as a retreat, although they’ll tread more carefully in the future when it comes to race.

Otherwise, the battle plan at Koala remains “Full-satire ahead. Damn those who can’t take a joke.”

Next week’s theme will be “Koala Finds Religion,” with pictures of staffers lining up at a confessional. But there will also be more tabloid takeoffs.

“There are a couple more potshots we haven’t taken yet,” Huffstutter said.

No Bars to the Bar

The home front.

* Common folk must submit to a metal detector and scrutiny by a deputy county marshal before entering the downtown county courthouse.

After much complaining, attorneys were given a special entrance and need only flash a State Bar card.

As you know, every lawyer is above reproach. And no terrorist would ever do something so dastardly as use a phony or stolen State Bar card.

* Big sign, beneath an American flag, in Burger King in Encinitas: “In support of our troops Burger King is offering a free drink with the purchase of any sandwich to military families.”

Also on the sign, in very tiny print: “Does not apply to any advertised special.”

Conclusion: Patriotism is good business, but there’s no need to go overboard.

* Seajet Cruise Lines, which does the San Diego-Santa Catalina route, is now using metal detectors on passengers and baggage.

No legal requirement to do so, but W.T. Gurnee, the company’s chief executive officer, is an Annapolis grad who wants to do his part to keep the sea lanes safe.