Notes on a Scorecard - Feb. 21, 1991

Bound to happen in spring training:

Pedro Guerrero will arrive late because of family matters in the Dominican Republic. . . .

Mark Langston will look like a 20-game winner. . . .

Chris Berman will make a bad joke about Scott Scudder’s name. . . .

No Kansas City teammate will blacken Kirk Gibson’s cap. . . .

The teams with the most victories in exhibition games will have the fewest during the regular season. . . .

A pitcher will get hit by a fly ball while he is jogging in the outfield during a game. . . .

In Arizona, they will complain that it is too dry. . . .

In Florida, they will complain that it is too wet. . . .

Doug Rader will start a different lineup every day, not unlike the regular season. . . .

Tom Lasorda will tell a rookie sitting behind him on the team bus, “See that mansion there? You’ll be living there some day if you learn how to hit the curveball.” . . .

If the umpires don’t show up, as they are threatening, nobody will notice. . . .

The teams with the most pitchers in camp will have the worst pitching staffs. . . .

Darryl Strawberry will hit a ball 500 feet. . . .

The Seattle Mariners will insist that they will break .500. . . .

A team in Arizona will have an Umbrella Day promotion. . . .

Nolan Ryan’s fastball will be faster than it was a year ago. . . .

Sparky Anderson will anoint a young Detroit Tiger as the next Al Kaline. . . .

The pitchers will say the hitters are ahead of them. . . .

The hitters will say the pitchers are ahead of them. . . .

There will be a New York writer in Vero Beach every day. . . .

The charm will be taken out of exhibition games by overflow crowds paying scalpers’ prices. . . .

A player will give a free autograph to a kid who would have had to pay $10 for it at a card show. . . .

The Cincinnati Reds will say they don’t get enough respect. . . .

The Oakland Athletics will say they are the best team in baseball. . . .

Ross Porter will have to miss some Dodger broadcasts because he will be busy doing Nevada Las Vegas games at the Final Four in Indianapolis. . . .

Not enough time will be spent on rundowns and cut-off plays. . . .

Jose Canseco will get a speeding ticket. . . .

San Diego Manager Greg Riddoch’s job will be in jeopardy. . . .

Junior Felix will be confused with Felix Jose. . . .

Jim Palmer won’t miss Earl Weaver. . . .

Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla will want out of Pittsburgh. . . .

A player will be arrested for brawling in a parking lot outside a bar at 2 a.m. . . .

The Dodger third base situation will be muddled. . . .

George Steinbrenner will show up at Yankee camp and make headlines by saying he wants to keep a low profile. . . .

Left-handers will be called crafty. . . .

Players will say spring training is too long. . . .

Owners will say spring training is too short. . . .

The oldest complex, Dodger-town, will still be the best. . . .

Ernie Harwell will be the most popular person in the Detroit Tiger camp. . . .

Manny Mota will look as though he could pinch-hit .300. . . .

Roger Angell and Roger Kahn will be read. . . .

Mike Morgan, Jim Neidlinger or Mike Hartley will be traded by the Dodgers. . . .

Montreal will be underrated. . . .

San Diego will be overrated. . . .

Dale Murphy will win the Mr. Congeniality award. . . .

You won’t be able to identify the Houston Astros, even with a scorecard. . . .

Newspapers will run pictures of grown-ups playing with Hula Hoops. . . .

On March 15, pitchers will enter the “dead arm” phase. . . .

Chris Gwynn will hit .400 and then take his seat on the bench. . . .

Bo Schembechler will say the Tigers need more Michigan men. . . .

Any newcomer wearing No. 60 or higher won’t stick. . . .

A regular will miss a week because of a cut suffered while slicing an orange. . . .

Mike Port will be happy with the Angel roster. . . .

Players will report in better shape than they used to but suffer more injures. . . .

A fan will demand his money back after the B team shows up for a game. . . .

Buck Rodgers will do wonders with the Expos’ youngsters. . . .

Orel Hershiser’s first mound appearance will have a World Series flavor. . . .

Unhappy players will demand “Pay me or trade me!” instead of “Play me or trade me!”