Successful Career Energized by a Special Love Story

You’d think that a woman who earned her bachelor’s and master’s degrees after age 50 and a Ph.D. at 70 would want to tell the world about the triumph and pain of going to school late in life. Not Evelyn Freeman; she prefers to talk about her husband, Al.

“I was encouraged by my husband. He nurtures me regardless of how it affects the relationship,” said Freeman in an interview at her office at the Senior Health and Peer Counseling Center in Santa Monica, where she is the director of Mental Health Services. “My first husband was afraid when I wanted to do things. His kind of love was clinging and destructive. Not Al. He is completely accepting of me.”

The relationship didn’t start out that way, Freeman recalls. In 1962, before they were married, Al told her not to count on him.

“I wanted a relationship, and when he told me he wasn’t sure I sold my house and went to Europe, met my daughter in Greece and traveled for 3 1/2 months. . . .

And then something happened. “I was in Paris and I was calling him in Malibu for his birthday. At the same moment I was calling him, he was giving himself a birthday present--he was calling me. He asked me to marry him,” said Freeman with a tear in her eye.

The fact that both Freemans are highly educated--Al holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology--did not guarantee a successful marriage. What makes the Freemans different is that they admitted to each other that they had a lot to learn about love. Evelyn also admits that she received unconditional acceptance from Al but that she doesn’t give it back--not totally.

“He’s very precious, but it doesn’t keep me from being critical and judgmental. But I know it’s unfair and I make it up to him.” One of the ways she does that is to acknowledge, privately and publicly, that she has been able to grow and flourish late in life because she lives in a nourishing relationship.

Evelyn Freeman has appeared on “60 Minutes” talking about her work counseling seniors. She is also an accomplished lecturer, author, artist, sculptor, and maintains a practice in marriage and family counseling.

As for her Ph.D. at the age of 70, Evelyn Freeman said she really didn’t want it--that it was Al who encouraged her. But she admitted that when someone calls her home and asks for Dr. Freeman and Al asks, with pride, “Which one?” she’s glad she’s Al Freeman’s wife.