Loose Canyon : Preservation Plan Would Be Blast--for the Past

The county government and residents of Modjeska Canyon have had, uh, a few disagreements about opening the former home of Polish actress Helena Modjeska to the public.

The public, you understand, usually brings kids and strollers and trails of Diet Coke cans and loudmouthed comments and God knows, probably smog and noise-bearing vehicles too.

At any rate, the Modjeska home will open on or about 1992. There have been many meetings.

I’d go on, but you can see how all of this can get pretty technical.

But wait!

I have just come across a simple, completely fresh way of looking at this thing outside of the same old General Development Plan rut.

Sadly, I cannot take credit for this myself (because that would be wrong) but happily pass along the innovative and extremely serious proposal of the Modjeskis’ Society, a Polish-American group based in San Diego.

What we’re talking here is sort of a living history museum that would include the entire canyon, which is technically part of the Cleveland National Forest, just east of Santiago Canyon Road.

This would be something along the lines of say, Colonial Williamsburg, in Virginia, where actual living persons (as opposed to curious wax facsimiles with bad hairpieces) do extremely useful real living-type things, such as make mandolines from scratch, while the general public makes itself extremely unuseful by just standing there and watching.

Only in Modjeska, no cars, trucks, buses or Dial-A-Rides would be permitted within the historic area.

And the home of Madame Modjeska (actually, the Modjeskis’ Society is pretty insistent that the Polish spelling of Modrzejewska would have to be used, but personally, I have no problem with that) would be hoisted atop something like a suspension bridge (similar to those that Helena’s son, Ralph, built throughout our great nation) and then, stay with me here, a monorail would connect this with Disneyland.

Only that monorail part might be kind of iffy.

Anyway, before I go any further, I imagine that some of you might be having a few so-called questions about the feasibility of enacting such a plan in Orange County. Well, let me assure you that the Modjeskis’ Society has thought of them too.

For example. Sample question No. 1: What about the canyon’s current 400 or so residents?

No problem! The federal government would buy them out. (The Modjeskis’ Society has already petitioned Congress and President Bush regarding same).

Sample question No. 2: And what of any residents who might be reluctant to move? (Face it, there are always a few.)

Well, these renegades would be allowed to live out their lives here--thanks to the generosity of the Modjeskis’ Society--but only if they agree to wear period costumes (the 1890s would be fine) and generally spend their remaining days as somebody’s long dead ancestors did.

With no cable TV.

All of which sounds like a splendid idea to me, but in the interest of fairness, I feel obligated to point out that I do not actually live in Modjeska Canyon myself.

So I took this proposal to some Modjeska Canyon residents, many of whom were already well acquainted with the Modjeskis’ Society thanks to its tireless correspondent W. Czajkowski, of La Jolla.

It seems that W.--with whom, unfortunately, I have been unable to make contact--personally introduced himself to several area residents who had assembled for yet another meeting on the whole General Development Plan business.

“I remember there was a fairly hostile crowd lined up for this meeting,” says resident Jim Sill, “and there was this guy, in his 60s, standing out there with some other guys, handing out material. It’s so off-the-wall. . . . I think it’s wonderful that they keep whacking away at it.”

And Ginny Smith-Payette, head of the Modjeska Residents Assn., can’t help but look up from her boxes of documents pertaining to the General Development Plan with a smile on her face when I ask her about W. in particular.

“I think probably most people here, in the back of our minds, can’t help but admire him for what he is trying to do,” she says. “He is trying to preserve the canyon, which is what we want too.”

As for the county, well, between you and me, you know how bureaucrats can be about bold new ideas.

When I asked the official who directly overseas the restoration of the Modjeska House about the Modjeskis’ Society, she said my timing was pretty lousy and then referred me to her boss.

“He has a sense of humor,” she said.

Only this man did not return my call.

It is, of course, the county’s loss.