RITES OF PASSAGE

They used to call me Hersh’s son; now they call him Josh’s dad.”

What is inevitable between a father and a son recently occurred on the waves at Malibu. Hersh Farberow, 44, has been surfing these same beaches for 30 years. When his son Josh turned 6, Hersh ushered the boy over his first few tentative waves. Now, at 17, Josh has come into his own out on the water, with the strength, speed and skill to match his father’s. And in so doing, an uncomfortable time and turning point between the two has passed and been reconciled.

“I always liked surfing with my father,” Josh says, “but when wewere both surfing at the same level, I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. It’s an uncomfortable feeling with your own father. Emotionally, it’s a lot easier to be behind or ahead. He’s already proven himself. Now I’ve moved on--even though we’re doing the same tricks and maneuvers, I’m doing them with more power and quicker. Now I like having him in the water with me.”

“It was obvious to me that it was going to happen,” Hersh explains. “He felt that he was better than I was, and when he felt that I knew it and that everybody else felt that way, too, he was able to enter the water with me again. He had taken over. It was frustrating for both of us during that period. You know, you feel like he’s being a cocky little know-it-all. That’s lightened up, though.”

“But as old as you get,” Josh reflects, “there’s always the feeling that, ‘Oh, if I get into trouble on the water, my father will come and help me.’ Somehow, I always wanted that feeling. I’ve finally built up enough confidence to take the waves on my own.”

For a moment the two are quiet. Then Hersh smiles at his son.

“I used to introduce Josh to my friends in the water,” he laughs. “Now he’s introducing me to his friends.”

“If I could surf with only one other guy in the water,” Josh says, “it would still be with my father.”