What If They Screened a Film and No One Came?

Long ago, “Three Men and a Little Lady” faded into the proverbial cinematic sunset, remembered only by the Ted Danson Fan Club and critics who compile lists of terrible sequels.

Yet, in one theater in Oceanside, “Three Men and a Little Lady” lived on. For 34 weeks, the Town and Country Cinemas featured the movie. It opened Thanksgiving weekend, 1990. The United States won a war, Johnny Carson announced his retirement, the Padres disappointed their fans again, hit movies came and went, and “Three Men and a Little Lady” continued to screen at the Town and Country.

Now, “Three Men and a Little Lady” was, to put it mildly, no “Citizen Kane.” It wasn’t even “Ghost.” By all accounts, screenings of the show were virtually empty. After all, it was already out on video.

But “Three Men and a Little Lady” played on.

When a bored co-worker pointed it out, it seemed worth checking into. Maybe it would provide a glimpse at how the movie industry operates. A quick phone call to So Cal Cinemas, operators of the theater, would probably clear up everything.

But So Cal officials were, as they say, unresponsive.

A spokeswoman for So Cal, Katherine McKeever, was the only So Cal official who returned calls. She didn’t know why the movie had played so long.

Maybe the film buyer would know, I suggested. “Try him,” she said.

Numerous phone calls to the buyer were not returned. McKeever did call back. We’re all very busy here, she said.

Now I was getting curious. A few days later I tried again. A variety of So Cal officials didn’t return calls. I talked to McKeever again.

The only one who can answer that question is Bruce Sanborn, one of the owners, she said.

“But he’s never here,” McKeever said, making him sound like the Major Major character in “Catch-22.” Major Major was never in if somebody wanted to see him. But he was in if nobody wanted to see him.

She insisted that no one at So Cal Cinemas could explain why So Cal cinemas was running the movie. I would have to call Buena Vista, the film’s distributor. They would know why So Cal was running the movie, even if So Cal didn’t.

First, though, it seemed like a little leapfrogging was in order, so I went over her head and called Gary Richardson, the general manager of So Cal Cinemas.

He actually called back. But he made clear that he didn’t want to talk about the movie.

“You have to talk to Buena Vista, it’s their movie,” he said.

“But it’s your theater.”

“You have to talk to Buena Vista.”

So, I called the contact at Buena Vista, the man everybody at So Cal felt would have all the answers.

“First off, I have to tell you that the only thing I say on the record is hello,” said the man at Buena Vista.

On the condition that his name not be used, he did say that it was an unusual situation. He was also puzzled. It’s really So Cal’s question to answer, he said. He didn’t feel comfortable talking about their business. Talk to So Cal, he said.

A few minutes later, Richardson called back. Suddenly he had all the answers.

So Cal had entered into a bidding war with Mann Theaters for the rights to screen “Three Men” in Oceanside, he said. So Cal won. But winning meant paying a guaranteed figure to Buena Vista up front.

When the film stiffed at the box office--”not as successful as we would have liked,” was the way Richardson phrased it--So Cal was left with a financial loser.

“We’re simply trying to reduce our losses,” he said. “It doesn’t cost anything to keep playing it.”

Well, that was simple enough.

Richardson acknowledged that the run of “Three Men and a Little Lady” was an “unusual” situation. And it won’t happen again. So Cal and Mann have agreed not to bid against each other for pictures in the Oceanside area, Richardson said.

And the “Three Men and a Little Lady” era in Oceanside came to an end Friday, when So Cal suddenly pulled the film out of the theater, disappointing the six people in the area who had not yet found the time to see it.

Add this to the annals of all-time television news screw-ups: Friday during the 6:30 p.m. newscast, KGTV (Channel 10) reported that philanthropist Roger Revelle had died.

To paraphrase Mark Twain, the report was greatly exaggerated. In fact, Revelle was listed in critical condition after suffering a heart attack, but was very much alive.

After learning of the error, Channel 10 ran an informational crawl across the bottom of the screen during the evening programming updating Revelle’s condition, and formally apologized to Revelle’s family and friends during the 11 p.m. newscast.

Reached at home on Saturday, News Director Paul Sands said a producer had overheard people talking about Revelle and assumed he had passed away.

“She wrote it that way and it didn’t get double checked and it went on the air,” Sands said.

Now that some of the bugs have been worked out, KNSD-TV (Channel 39) is planning to expand the Ross/Hedgecock Report to an hour. According to a source at the station, the change will probably be made in the fall. . . .

One victim of the recent budgets cuts at KFMB-TV (Channel 8): The much touted “Eight Cares” community affairs unit. Staff members have been reassigned to the newsroom. . . .

Radio station KPBS-FM (89.5) sent out a press release touting its live coverage of the solar eclipse.