STAGE REVIEW : ‘Triplets’: A Silly Misfire at Skylight

“They’ll look at anything in L.A.” is a line that comes somewhere in the second act of “Triplets in Uniform” at the Skylight Theatre in Hollywood. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, validated by anyone who sits through this show.

A director with a respectable track record (David Galligan) and a cast that includes at least two fine talents (Beth Broderick and Carol Locatell) are barking up the wrong silliness. They can’t save this Jeffrey Essmann spoof.

“Triplets in Uniform” is a satire in the Charles Ludlam-Ridiculous Theatre mode, without any of Ludlam’s panache. If it aspires to be another “Rocky Horror Show” or “Women Behind Bars,” it has the style or wit of neither. The women here are in school uniforms and aren’t all women--especially not Nietzsche, an avowed hermaphrodite, whose real name is Schopenhauer. It’s that kind of show.

Other than being designed to test our patience, the plot tracks a set of diabolical triplets (differentiated as meanest, ugliest and stupidest) who wreak havoc at the private Prussian Wilhelmina Kaiserina School for Girls, circa 1919.

It’s run by a sexually repressed compulsive named Fotze (Locatell), and the only teacher these girls like is the hermaphrodite (Broderick), who herself has an incredible story to tell about trading lives and names with a look-alike named Eileen. The triplets skip town when, in a fit of jealousy, they dismember a fellow student for daring to have an affair with the handsome Putz (Jonathan Penner), a stable boy they all covet.

Act II finds them wandering Asia with a touring freak show. Never mind the deliberately implausible ramifications. Before the play is done, occult Transylvanian elements have taken over, there is a ghoulish resurrection of sorts and every improbability has been tossed into the pot.

Drastically slashed, this show might make it as a collegiate skit, but misfires broadly as a full-length show. Even a better script would take special savvy to pull off. None’s in sight here.

Except for Locatell’s coiled and contained explosiveness as Fotze, Broderick’s benevolence as Nietzsche/Schopenhauer/Eileen and Penner’s eloquent nudity, the acting ranges from undisciplined to overwrought. The only evident restraint is fiscal: This Camelot Artists production is bare bones.

The program notes that “Triplets” is Essmann’s first play and that it had an extended engagement at Cafe La Mama. They’ll look at anything in New York.

* “Triplets in Uniform,” Skylight Theatre, 1816 1/2 N. Vermont Ave., Hollywood. Fridays-Saturdays, 8 p.m.; Sundays, 7 p.m. Ends Sept. 8. $15; (213) 466-1767. Running time: 1 hour, 45 minutes.