OFF-CENTERPIECE : Winners and Snoozers--the Summer of ’91

I’m addicted to the grosses.

Big deal, you say. The weekend box-office report, once the epitome of insider information, now makes regularly scheduled appearances in daily newspapers and national TV shows. In Los Angeles, especially--where those in the business are prone to bracing bons mots like “Did you see that ‘Delirious’ dropped off 50%?”--who made what seems to be on everyone’s lips.

Critics, however, are supposed to be above the commercial fray. Working from rarefied heights, or so the prevailing theory goes, we peer skeptically at the films before us and render carefully balanced judgments, preferring not to sully our hands with the base coinage of the marketplace.

But even if that were true (you didn’t really think it was, did you?), that doesn’t mean critics are indifferent to the way pictures in fact do perform in the real world. For this is a quintessentially popular art, and knowledge of how well a picture suits the public taste is too intrinsic to the form to be ignored. Also, the grosses not only show how successfully a studio has been able to sell its product, but also indicate what kinds of product they may be tempted to foist on us in the future.

With that in mind, and with this weekend marking the traditional end of the summer film season, what follows is a non-inclusive, annotated look at who did what over the vacation--and a few opinionated stabs at why.

The Big Winners

Terminator 2: Judgment Day ($175 million). The highest-grossing film of the summer and deservedly so, successful because it perfectly delivered on audience expectations. It may have cost the Earth to produce, but at least it was readily apparent where all that money went. A possible negative side effect is that it may encourage studios to be less vigilant about approving monster budgets in the future.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves ($146 million). People apparently want to see Kevin Costner in costume, come hell or high water. Yes, the flame still burns, but the light it gives off is not necessarily a happy one, for “Robin” points out the sad dearth of choices facing today’s audiences. Understandably hungry for traditional forms of entertainment, moviegoers ended up settling for and even cheering on the feeblest, most anemic of swashbucklers simply because nothing else of its kind was available. A crumb for the starving is clearly more appealing than no nourishment at all.

City Slickers ($110 million). This muddled effort, part comedy and part therapy session, is the most surprising member of the $100-million club. Billy Crystal is undeniably funny, and whatever they paid Jack Palance, it wasn’t enough, but “City Slickers” is best at patronizing its audience, allowing everyone to comfortably believe that no one’s problems are that tough that a timely vacation can’t clear them up in a jiffy. Clearly, no picture ever lost money making an audience Feel Good about itself.

Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear ($82 million). A triumph of salesmanship and habit over content. Blessed with a marketing campaign that was hands down funnier than the film itself, and capitalizing on the audience’s reservoir of good feeling about previous, more successful efforts, these guys literally laughed all the way to the bank.

Overachievers

101 Dalmatians ($53 million). The Cruella de Vil Fan Club strikes again. These re-released animated features are a huge bonanza for Disney because they are already bought and paid for and just need to be waved in front of a screen to start earning the big bucks. The success of “Dalmatians” bodes extremely well for Disney’s newest animated feature, “Beauty and the Beast,” due out Thanksgiving.

Boyz N the Hood ($46 million). Columbia successfully turned this into an event film that people felt they had to see, shootings or no shootings. A quality piece of work with genuine social consciousness that nevertheless fits neatly into traditional Hollywood patterns, “Boyz” has enough of an affinity to “Gandhi” to surprise some folks when the Oscars heave into view.

Thelma & Louise ($41 million). Like it or loathe it, this film was the talk of the summer and brought a discussion of serious feminist issues to venues that had never heard of Ms. magazine. Its grosses were not spectacular but more respectable than many had feared, especially given the uncertain health of MGM. Clearly, women don’t need men to earn out at the box office.

Hot Shots! ($47 million). Hampered by a late start, an indifferent ad campaign and a comic style that seemed like a remake of a film audiences had seen just the week before, this film nevertheless parlayed Charlie Sheen’s box-office appeal and a genuinely funny script into a sizable gross that is still growing.

The Doctor ($19 million). Not a big number as of yet, but a tribute to Disney’s shrewd platforming of the film, opening it in a very small number of theaters and gradually expanding screens as the word of mouth grew. The kind of careful handling every intelligent film dreams about, but almost never gets.

Underwhelming

Backdraft ($74 million). On one level, a film that earns this much is hard to classify as a disappointment, but a vehicle with the kind of drop-dead special effects it had should have gone through the roof the way “Terminator 2” did. Lack of attention to story and character hurt in the long run.

The Rocketeer ($43 million). A case where the marketing ran too far ahead of the film. A beautiful poster, handsome logo, photogenic stars and enough toys to give Santa a hernia, but a picture so bland that no one over 10 years old managed to get excited.

Regarding Henry ($36 million). Though Hollywood without slickness and manipulation would be more like Dubrovnik than Hollywood, every once in a while a picture will go so over the top with glop that the public will rebel and refuse to go along for the ride. Score one for common sense.

Dying Young ($32 million). Yes, Julia Roberts can open a picture, but this weepy--further enfeebled by an uncertain ending and a title that didn’t sound like date-night fun--never managed to get its bearings. Maybe people saw so much of Roberts’ romantic difficulties in the tabloids they concluded her real life was more entertaining than what she did on screen.

Fiascos

V.I. Warshawski ($10 million). Having bought the rights to this extremely popular fictional detective, Disney apparently had a ton of contingency plans for sequels taking her into married life and, who knows, perhaps even into the realm of pistol-packing grannyhood. Unfortunately, no one remembered to put the essence of the character into the film, turning what could have been the start of a gold mine into the instant end of an era.

Hudson Hawk ($17 million). Repeat after me: Never totally indulge a star. Never totally indulge a star. Never. . . .