MAKING IT WORK : Avoid Crises by Looking for Help Early On

The best way to keep a problem with your teen-ager from escalating to a crisis is by getting help early, says Kari Cornell, a counselor at Amparo Youth Shelter in Garden Grove.

Many parents postpone action while they tell themselves, “This couldn’t be my child having this problem,” Cornell says. She offers the following advice to parents with teen-agers:

* Watch for such warning signs as ignoring curfews, changing friends, defying family rules, skipping school and becoming distant from family members.

* Try to talk calmly with your child about what is bothering him or her.

* Ask a friend or counselor to step in if your child won’t be open with you. Teens trying to break away from their parents often communicate better with someone outside the family.

* Recognize that if you’re in the midst of a crisis such as a death in the family or divorce, your children may need more emotional support than you are able to give. Seeking outside help for them now may prevent problems later.