Child Killer Haunted by Past

As I read the paper, I see a picture of Gregory Scott Smith looking happy, proud and smug (Oct. 9, “Child Killer Pleads Guilty”).

If I had not been in court when the picture was taken, I would have said to myself, “Look, he’s proud of killing a little boy.” But I was in court, and what I saw in Smith was an immature person acting like a kid trying very hard to please and, happy that he was doing well, listening and answering questions.

Smith kidnaped Paul Bailly and, in the process of raping him, killed him. How could this happen? I believe the answer is simple.

Smith was re-enacting what had been done to him as a child--only this time, he was the powerful one, and someone else was the terrified little boy. We abuse children because we have been abused--it becomes a compulsion, an overwhelming, irrational attraction, because in fantasizing and carrying out the violence (and rape is violence, not sex), we stop being the victim and become the powerful one--and it feels wonderful to be free, for a brief time, of the terror and helplessness we have been overwhelmed by all our lives.

Smith may have repressed what happened to him that made him not speak until he was 6. He may not have any understanding of why he was “attracted” to violate a small, helpless boy.

But we are not operating under the same veil of pain that he is--we are aware, thinking people.

Why do we spend our time, energy and money punishing people after these crimes have been committed, rather than doing what is necessary to stop them? We kill our criminals to silence them because the truth they harbor is too painful for us to bear.

GINNY ERICSON, Oak View