The Odd and the Obscure : Trends: You can satisfy a hankering for the coins of Alexander the Great, old school ties or worm manure through the mail.
Everybody needs a hobby, and junk mail is mine.
Like those kindly folks who raise rattlesnakes or tarantulas and tell you what wonderful pets they make, I have chosen to embrace what most of society rejects and abhors.
Most of the bulk, especially this time of year, is taken up with catalogues. Not just from expected sources like Land’s End or Tweeds or L. L. Bean, but from places like Very Vermont, offering “100% Pure Maple Syrup in a convenient shaker jar,” or Ergo Media Inc., proclaiming this “The Year for Jewish Video!” Not to mention the Jessica’s Biscuit Cookbook Catalogue, which offers enough culinary volumes to sate a glutton.
Clearly, for lovers of the offbeat one of the virtues of getting all the junk is that there are pearls hidden in the ooze, odd catalogues offering a world of unnerving items that, as they used to say in the commercials, are definitely not to be found in any store. What follows is a sampling of personal favorites, catalogues that made even a confirmed mailaholic sit up and take notice.
Certainly nothing, not even the innocent name Museum Replicas Limited prepares one for this collection of fearsomely authentic arms and armor replicas, made with tempered steel and promised to be “equal to or better than the originals they’re copied from.” Daggers, broadswords, scimitars, war axes, long bows, and even an aggressively studded war club are available, as are a wide variety of welcome protective helmets and chain mail armor.
(Box 840, Conyers, Ga . 30207; (800) 241-3664.)
More peaceful, though crafted with equal personal involvement, are the authentic, hand-turned replicas of 19th-Century walking staffs and hiking sticks offered by Poestenkill Hiking Staff Manufacturing Co. A dozen handsome models are available, with a variety of decorative finials and the choice of either a cast-iron or more discreet rubber tip.
(P.O. Box 300, Poestenkill, N.Y. 12140; (518) 279-3011.)
As long as you’re outdoors, you might as well head for your garden, which is where Worm’s Way comes in. Big boosters of hydroponics, these devoted folks also offer such ace fertilizers as worm manure (don’t even think of ordering less than 35 pounds) and pure bat and sea bird guano, “a rare commodity available in short supply.” You have been warned.
(3151 South Highway 446, Bloomington, Ind . 47401; (800) 274-9676.)
The folks at Anyone Can Whistle call their publication “a catalogue of musical discovery” and no one is about to argue. All kinds of odd and beautifully crafted instruments, from a Maine dinner bell to a Balinese gangsa and a Brazilian whistle necklace are available for hungry ears.
(P.O. Box 4407, Kingston, N . Y . 12401; (800) 435-8863.)
A staple of catalogue sales is the T-shirt business, and while everyone wants to get into the act, the two most intriguing are Ketaca and Novgorod. The former offers masks, pictographs, petroglyphs and bark paintings from native cultures ranging from the the Mayan to the Kwakiutl, while the latter is proud to present “a trenchant blend of sarcasm and insight,” shirts that say things like “Save the Whales! Collect the Whole Set!” and “Communist Party Animal.”
(Ketaca, P.O. Box 248, Belfast, Me. 04915, (800) 767-3052. Novgorod, Box 573, Sebastopol, Calif. 95473; (707) 829-8421.)
If a more formal style of dress suits you, The Ben Silver Collection will light up your life. Founded by the man who “introduced university and prep school blazer buttons to America from Great Britain,” this company offers not only a hoard of same but also a staggering variety of old school ties, divided into categories like University, Club, The Corps & Regiments and Crested. If you always wanted to pretend you served in the 2nd Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders or the Royal Dublin Fusiliers, now you can own the tie to match your words.
(149 King St., Charleston, S.C. 29401; (800) 221-4671.)
The catalogue from Worldwide Treasure Bureau certainly seems to live up to its name. Available are such valuables as coins of Alexander the Great, “genuine rifle bullets used by the armies of the North and South,” 1,500-year-old Roman glass vials, and, in time for the holidays, shekels of Tyre, “The Coins That Crucified Jesus.”
(P.O. Box 5012, Visalia, Calif. 93278; (800) 437-0222.)
That great bastion of irreligion, the Soviet Union, is now tame and toothless enough to have its very own catalogue. Russian Dressing offers authentic Russian navy tunics, czarist bond certificates, candies and jams, Uzbec ceramic platters and real-life Russian army coats and belt buckles. Lo, how the mighty have fallen.
(P.O. Box 1313, New York, N . Y . 10013; (212) 334-0006.)
Though historians can only speculate on what Thomas Jefferson might have thought of the phenomenon of mail order, it is a safe bet he wouldn’t have anticipated an entire catalogue devoted to him called Monticello. If you’ve ever wanted earrings inspired by a pair of scissors belonging to Jefferson’s granddaughter (and who hasn’t?) or a trivet engraved with the President’s initials, you know where to go.
(P.O. Box 316, Charlottesville, Va . 22902; (804) 979-1776.)
Jefferson certainly would have appreciated the beauty of the maps offered by Raven Maps & Images. A combination of shading and tinting shows the landscape with surprising vividness, making these maps, so the makers claim, “the next best thing to flying over a state on a clear day.”
(34 North Central Ave., Medford, Ore . ; (800) 237-0798.)
Speaking of flying, Tailwinds offers more airborne-related items than one could have imagined existed. Fancy watches with flyer-friendly dials, underwear decorated with aircraft, aviator gloves, an airplane-shaped serving tray complete with propeller, even, for the non-superstitious, “the original version of the jumpsuit worn and designed by Amelia Earhart.”
(P.O. Box 750729, Petaluma, Calif.; (800) 992-7737.)
If all this shopping is getting you down, you may be ready for Ruby Montana’s Pinto Pony. Calling itself “Outfitters for the Cosmic Cowpoke” and featuring a three-eyed horse on the cover to prove it, Ruby seems to specialize in things most people wouldn’t want, like official Pee-wee Herman ventriloquist dolls, rubber chickens and the original, never duplicated Ant Farm.
And you can even get the ants by mail.
(603 Second Avenue, Seattle, Wash. 98104; (800) 788-RUBY.)
