MOVIE REVIEW : ‘Parents’ Short-Circuits With Overload of Cuteness

“And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird” (citywide) is a cute robot movie. And though cute robots have a certain heritage in American films, going back to “Forbidden Planet’s” Robby and beyond, it’s perhaps only since 1977’s “Star Wars” that this specific type came into prominence. “Hug me” cute, doggy-woggy cute: a kootchy-koo little cybernetic sweetie that practically wags its tail and flutters its chips at you.

In “Parents Were Weird,” the robot, called “Newman,” has been invented by two cute kids (Joshua Miller of “River’s Edge” and Edan Gross), whose cute, widowed mom (Marcia Strassman of “Welcome Back, Kotter”) is losing the family home. Cuteness, as we soon learn, is no defense against the wickedness of the world--the various slob competitor-inventors, media vultures and murderous conspirators hanging around--even though it does help you attract cute girlfriends (like A. J. Langer).

And, in any case, Newman’s cuddliness is enhanced by the fact that through the mediation of a Ouija board, he’s become possessed of the soul of the kids’ recently deceased dad--whose voice is supplied, cutely, by Alan Thicke.

Writer-director Tony Cookson, making his feature debut, wants a Spielberg-ian sheen on all this. Basically, his formula is: “Suburban R2D2 Turns Robocop, and Gives up the Ghost.” But this is the kind of movie Spielberg gave up making years ago, and Cookson doesn’t have the formula quite straight. He doesn’t catch the style--that warm-eyed, hard-edged, savvy blend of Disney themes with Wellesian, Hitchcockian frames--that gave Spielberg’s family films a contrasting soft center and hard edges.

The edges here aren’t hard, crisp or shiny. Or warm, either. They’re more reminiscent of a burnt waffle, dissolving in the sink.

The cuteness, however, never flags. There are winsome flirtations between Mom and the robot, and, at one point, Albert Einstein calls in on the Ouija board, signing himself “EMC2,” to save the day. There are cute inventions, cute car-washing scenes with urinating poodles, a cute kidnaping and the sort of teary farewell that beggars true sentiment--all of which reminds you how cold, but effective, “E.T.” really was. “And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird” (MPAA rated PG) is so soft and squishy, that any decently cute robot would probably sink through its center like a stone.

‘And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird’

Marcia Strassman: Sarah

Joshua Miller: Josh

Edan Gross: Max

Alan Thicke: Newman’s Voice

A Vidmark Entertainment/Just Betzer presentation of a Panorama International production, released by Trimark Films. Director/screenplay Tony Cookson. Producer Just Betzer. Executive producer Pernille Siesbye. Cinematographer Paul Elliot. Editor Michael Ornstein. Costumes Sanja Hays. Music Randy Miller. Production design Alexandra Kicenik. Running time: 1 hour, 54 minutes.

MPAA-rated PG