Freshman Year: Time of Transition : Homesickness: Many first-year college students experience loneliness, but the feeling usually subsides within a few months, a professor says.

Homesickness is not uncommon among college freshmen, but it usually subsides within several months, a professor says.

Feelings of loneliness, compounded by a notion that everyone else is making friends except you, are a real and painful condition many new students face, says David Winer, dean of students and associate professor of psychology at Trinity College.

Starting college is an important and symbolic point in the transition from child to adult, he says. However, students often become intimidated when faced with new freedoms and responsibilities.

“You want to go back to the place where you felt comfortable and, surprisingly, part of the comfort may have come from the control others had over you. It’s hard to make decisions on your own.”

New students must also adjust to an abrupt change in status. They go from the top of the heap as high school seniors to the bottom of the pile as college freshmen.

“This comes as a shock, no matter how well you have prepared yourself for the new role of being low man on the totem pole,” he says.

Nearly all new students experience homesickness at some time in the first few weeks, but most adapt by the end of the first semester. Until that happens, Winer says, “it’s usually best for the parent not to run to the college or give the student a ticket home.”

He says parents should resist the urge to call frequently to “check up.”

“This is really a time to cut the ties and let the student make his own decisions, even regarding how often to get in touch with you,” he says.

“If you both agree, your child might be expected to call home on a weekly basis for three or four weeks, but I’m more in favor of letting that happen spontaneously,” he says. “You can hope your son or daughter will want to fill you in on what he or she is doing.”

If homesickness persists, students should consider talking to the dean of students, dorm adviser, housing director or chaplain.

“A student who feels alone has this feeling fostered by what he or she sees in their friends. She thinks everyone else is perfect: They have no worries, they have good relationships. She has the feeling that she’s not only different but that everyone else is trying to be better than she is,” Winer says.

“I try to convince homesick students that they are not the only ones feeling this way. There is nothing unusual about it.”