REPORT CARD / T.J. SIMERS : Hurry Up and Wait

B: QUARTERBACKS

John Friesz continues to make progress, but holy lateral, which will come first? Star Trek VII or Friesz’s seventh win as starting quarterback for the Chargers?

B-: RUNNING BACKS

The sun must have been in Dan Henning’s eyes: He sent in No. 32 to run the ball probably thinking all the time it was No. 82. It’s not like it’s his first mistake.

C: RECEIVERS

Now we know why they haven’t been playing Shawn Jefferson; he can’t play. He steps offside on a kickoff, then when Friesz throws him the ball he looks like a guy at a picnic swatting flies from his food.

A: OFFENSIVE LINE

Usually it’s as cold as the interior of an icebox here in December. Usually the Charger line gives away more sacks than the local grocer. Things should get back to normal this week.

B: DEFENSIVE LINE

George Thornton is credited with one tackle, igniting rumors that he was here. Steve DeBerg sees a snorting Joe Phillips chasing him and lets Donald Frank get interception. Wouldn’t you?

D: LINEBACKERS

In training camp Leslie O’Neal said Burt Grossman wasn’t much of a football player. Statistical “stiff” update: Grossman has 5 1/2 sacks; O’Neal has 4.

B+: DEFENSIVE BACKS

That was nice of the Chiefs to send a limo to the hotel to make sure Donald Frank got here. How were they to know he was going to start playing with his eyes closed?

F: SPECIAL TEAMS

John Carney said his kick drifted left. The way things have been going, you could ask Carney to take aim at the Coronado Bridge and folks in National City would have to take cover.

UFR: COACHING

Upon Further Review, what does the world have against Dan Henning?