MAKING IT WORK : Ways to Deal With Grief at Holidays

If you are grieving for a lost loved one during this holiday season, it’s important to do what makes life easier for you rather than what others expect, says Jeanne Preble, a therapist who has helped many clients through grief.

“There is no correct way of grieving; there is only your way. Trust yourself and do what flows naturally,” advises Preble, who practices in Fullerton and Irvine. She also suggests the following ways of dealing with grief during the holidays:

* Try to remember the good times you shared with your loved one instead of dwelling on what you have lost.

* Imagine yourself giving a special gift to the person for whom you are in mourning. Picturing how the gift would be received will help you focus on warm thoughts that might ease your pain.

* If family traditions are too painful for you right now, spend the holiday in a way you never have before, perhaps by taking a trip. You can reclaim your traditions whenever you’re ready.

* Keep busy. Make holiday plans in advance so you can feel a sense of control over how you’re doing to get through this difficult time.

* Cry when you need to, and spend the holiday with people who aren’t uncomfortable with your sudden shifts from laughter to tears.