Corporal’s Widow Plans Melancholy Journey to Kuwait : Survivors: Carol Bentzlin is scheduled to arrive on what would have been her second wedding anniversary, had the Gulf War not changed her life.

On Dec. 29, the day that would have been her second wedding anniversary, Carol Bentzlin is scheduled to arrive in Kuwait as part of a journey she hopes will take her to the Saudi Arabian desert, where her husband was killed during the Persian Gulf War.

Bentzlin, widow of Marine Cpl. Stephen E. Bentzlin, said last week that she and her children have accepted an invitation by the Kuwaiti government to visit the country that was invaded by Iraq in 1990 and catalyzed U.S. involvement in the Middle East conflict.

Since her husband’s death Jan. 29 during the battle for Khafji, a northern Saudi border town seized by Iraqi troops, Bentzlin said she has had ambivalent feelings about whether the war was for a just cause.

“My husband’s head was blown to pieces there,” said Bentzlin, 29. “(The trip) is going to give me an understanding of the people. It’s going to give (the war) some validity.”

The Kuwaiti ambassador’s office in Washington also announced Friday that the family of Maj. Rhonda Cornum, a U.S. Army flight surgeon from Florida who received a Purple Heart in the war, also had been invited to take part in the nine-day trip to Kuwait. Both families will be guests of Kuwaiti Defense Minister Sheik Ali al Salim al Sabah, spokeswoman Bunny Murdoch said.

In both cases, the families received the invitations after separate meetings with Kuwait’s ambassador to the United States, Sheik Saud al Nasir al Sabah, Murdoch said.

“They happened to be lucky enough to meet each other,” Murdoch said. “(The ambassador) just wants to express his appreciation to anybody who has contributed to the liberation of his country.”

Bentzlin met the ambassador briefly last April at a tribute to Gulf War troops.

They met again in August when he offered Bentzlin financial assistance following publicity about the U.S. military’s delay in returning her husband’s personal effects and making death benefit payments.

During the second meeting, held at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel, the ambassador offered to send Bentzlin and her three children to Kuwait during the Christmas holiday.

Neither Bentzlin, nor the Kuwaiti government, revealed the amount of the monetary gift, but Bentzlin said it was “not even comparable to my husband’s life insurance, which was $100,000. It was substantial, but it’s not what people may think.”

Bentzlin said the ambassador’s generosity--including the upcoming trip--was never expected.

She added that the ambassador’s recognition of the role played by U.S. troops to liberate Kuwait has helped her deal with her own doubts about the wisdom of fighting the war.

“After I talked to (the ambassador), it added a human side (to the war). It helped me understand,” Bentzlin said. “So that’s what I hope to see when I go over there. It will make it real for me, rather than this thing that my husband died for . . . this idealism.”

Bentzlin has also asked to be taken to the site where her husband and seven other members of his unit died when their armored vehicle was mistakenly struck by an allied missile.

“I think that’s kind of a normal desire,” she said. “I know there’s nothing but sand there, but I just want to go there.”

The embassy spokeswoman said that officials were attempting to accommodate Bentzlin’s request, but that the visit to the area--located northwest of Al Qarah--may not be possible if it has not been cleared of land mines.

Murdoch said both families also would be taken to an area just outside Kuwait city to see an exhibit of Iraqi military hardware seized during the war.

Bentzlin said her children--11, 9, and 8 years of age--are generally looking forward to the trip. But one son, she said, is “worried that (Iraqi President) Saddam Hussein will bomb Kuwait while we are over there.”

After months of battling with the U.S. government and resettling her family’s life, Bentzlin said she has “pretty much come to accept” her husband’s death. The trip to Kuwait will be another step in that direction, she added.

“It’s been really hard . . . really, really hard,” she said. “I am hoping I can sleep through the whole thing and not remember it’s our anniversary. I don’t want to be sad anymore.”