Wire-service bulletin:”Police Chief Daryl Gates, speaking on...

Wire-service bulletin:

“Police Chief Daryl Gates, speaking on the ‘Today’ show, said he ‘probably’ will run for mayor if no other candidate inspires his confidence.”

OK. Now, we don’t want to seem pushy. But what we’d like to ask Gates is:

If you are elected mayor, then will you retire as chief?

But who listens to us? We recently conceded defeat on one of the most bitter campaigns we’ve ever fought--the selection of the county’s Official Recycling Mascot.

We objected to the nominee of county Supervisor Mike Antonovich, pointing out that his candidate represents a destructive family whose members have a penchant for shortening the lives of telephone poles by boring holes in them, among other acts of vandalism.

But Antonovich ignored us and the county has finished shooting a video titled, “Let’s All Recycle,” starring the new mascot:

Woody Woodpecker.

We can practically hear that stupid laugh.

Will the last person out . . .

“The government does give a lot of contradictory instructions,” points out Kitty Nix of Redondo Beach, who spotted this set of Dueling Instructions in the Torrance Post Office.

Tehachapi seer Lori King is a member of The Times’ semiprestigious Board of Psychics, organized by business columnist Dan Akst.

She recently sent Akst her 13 predictions for 1992, one of which more or less came true during President Bush’s visit to Tokyo (see excerpt).

That one was so daring that she can be forgiven for making her other 12 fairly general. Example: “(10) Health care becomes an extremely hot political issue for 1992.”

Still, it’s too bad there’s not a word about the chances of Liz’s marriage surviving.

Jan Erik Beckjord, director of the Crypto-Phenomena Museum in Malibu, took time out from his studies to send along a suggestion for financially troubled Gorky’s Cafe and Russian Brewery. The downtown cafe, which advertises “Foodski, Funski, Brewski,” might have to shut downski.

“Gorky was a Communist revolutionary,” Beckjord pointed out. “This is a new era. The place should be renamed Gorby’s . “

Or Yeltsy’s.

Notice the Barker Bros. slogan that appears in some of the ads for the bankrupt furniture chain’s out-of-business sale?

It’s: “In Rhythm with California.”

Truth in recession advertising, unfortunately.

miscelLAny:

The flip side of the 1940s hit “When Veronica Plays Her Harmonica on the Pier at Santa Monica” was “Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh--That’s the Woody Woodpecker Song.”