Top Story Tonight: Family Had an Average Day

People are always complaining that newspapers only print bad news.

Their argument goes that most people aren’t out there robbing and shooting and philandering, so why don’t we publish stories about what decent people are doing? That would be much more reflective of modern life, they say.

They have a point. If newspapers are supposed to mirror society, maybe we’ve been missing the point all these years.

Maybe the newspapers of the future, in trying to give readers what they want, will run stories like the following:

ANAHEIM--William (Bill) Johnson, who had been at work all day Thursday, returned home about 7:05 p.m. to find his wife and three children awaiting his arrival.

Johnson, 44, pulled his Nissan sedan into the family garage after narrowly missing his 4-year-old son’s tricycle that had edged off the sidewalk and into the corner of the driveway. Mildly irritated, Johnson put the tricycle in the garage after parking the car and turning off the engine. He was running about 20 minutes later than usual because he had stopped to pick up some dry-cleaning and a few groceries after work. While paying for the groceries, Johnson exchanged a few pleasantries with the scanner and sacker, both of whom complimented him on his maroon tie.

Once inside his house, Johnson kissed his wife, Madge, and asked how her day had gone. Madge, who takes care of the kids at home, replied, “About the same as always.”

Johnson heading upstairs to change clothes, called out, “What’s for dinner?”

Madge Johnson, who hated it when her husband tried to talk to her while leaving the room, shouted after him, “Meat loaf! But you have to talk to Jennifer first!”

Jennifer is the couple’s 14-year-old daughter, and she seemed to have a new problem every day. Johnson headed for her bedroom and knocked before entering. He said a silent prayer that the problem didn’t involve algebra homework. The last time Jennifer had that problem, Johnson missed an entire night of television.

“Hey, Sweetie,” Johnson said to his daughter, who was combing her hair in front of the mirror. “Mom says you have something on your mind.”

“Only that I’ll never get a date as long as I have this stupid retainer. Every time I walk down the hall at school, the boys laugh at me.”

“That’s because boys are training to be men, and they’re just getting an early start on being insensitive and crude.”

“But you’re not insensitive and crude.”

“To tell the truth, Honey, neither are all the boys at school. It’s just that the nice ones all wear glasses and are in the French Club, and you’re not interested in them like you are the football players.”

“Why does the world have to be so complicated?”

Johnson hated it when she asked questions like that, so he said what he usually said at such a moment: “I don’t know. Let’s go eat. You know how good Mom’s meat loaf is.”

The family had a relaxing meal, marred only when Johnson told his wife she had some food on the corner of her mouth and she said it was a cold sore.

Madge said their 9-year-old son would be spending the night at a friend’s house and that 4-year-old Teddy had skinned his knee trying to climb his first tree. Johnson thought that was a special moment and said he wanted to re-create it sometime during the weekend on home video.

Madge said she thought the van was idling a bit rough and might need a tuneup. Johnson said they could take it in Monday if she’d drive him to work. Madge said she could do that, as long as someone could give him a ride home after work.

The family finished eating, especially enjoying the pineapple upside-down cake for dessert. Johnson offered to do the dishes but he was already heading toward his favorite easy chair in the living room as he said it.

Jennifer said she was going over to her friend Tracy’s house but that she’d be home by 9.

“Make it 8:30,” Johnson said.

“Oh, Dad!” she yelled, as she headed out the door.

“I can’t believe she’s 14 already,” Johnson said to his wife as he watched Jennifer dash off. “I hope nobody ever asks her out on a date. I’m afraid I’d have to shoot anyone who did.”

“That’s what my father threatened to do to you,” Madge said. “I don’t think you have to worry about her. She knows what she’s doing.”

“I guess we’ve got it pretty good, don’t we?” Johnson said.

“We sure do,” Madge said. “Now come out here and help with the dishes.”