NOTES : Docter’s Revelation Not Good for the Soul

More than a year after U.S. speedskater Mary Docter went clean, she came clean with the media last December about her dependency on alcohol and marijuana. Now, the four-time Olympian wishes that she had kept it to herself.

“I’ve been so mutilated by a lot of articles,” she said.

The most recent was published by Bill Clinton’s favorite tabloid, the Star, which she read here Saturday night.

As a result, she said she was unable to concentrate on her race Sunday in the women’s 3,000 meters on the first day of speedskating competition at the Winter Olympics. She finished 15th.

“You guys should emphasize what I’ve come out of, the positives of this,” said Docter, 30, a regular at Alcoholics Anonymous in her hometown of Madison, Wis. “It’s always the garbage that comes out in the paper.

“I’ve improved my spirituality in the last year. I’ve improved my physical fitness, my emotional stability. I mean, how many people in the world cannot lose five pounds, much less get rid of an addiction that is a disease? It is a disease that only 20% of the people who try to get rid of it can do.”

One positive, she said, is that she has received supportive mail from sympathizers throughout the country.

“They say that I’m a winner even if I lose a race,” she said. “When I read them, I cry my brains out.”

Docter will skate twice more here, in the 1,500 and the 5,000.

“I’m disappointed I didn’t skate better today,” she said. “But, on the other hand, I am sober, and that is my primary goal.”