This Trophy Doesn’t Come That Cheap

Once again, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police have come to the rescue.

This time, they retrieved the University of Washington’s Rose Bowl trophy that was stolen from the school’s trophy case by four University of British Columbia engineering students.

The students apologized by letter to Washington Coach Don James for their “prank.” Nonetheless, they were billed $450, the cost of replacing the broken glass in the case.

Trivia time: When was the last time a USC basketball team won an outright conference title?

Just like L.A.: While describing the Winter Olympics scene as a “postcard from winter’s heaven,” John Eisenberg of the Baltimore Sun also calls the site a “logistical absurdity.”

“It’s spread over 640 square miles and three mountain faces,” Eisenberg said. “It takes a good four hours of bus rides to get from the men’s downhill at Val d’Isere to cross-country skiing in Les Saises. The unofficial song of these games? ‘Sur le route encore, frere Jacques.’ On the road again, Jack.

“And what roads. Lacking a little item known as guardrails, the little sweethearts turn into miles of dead man’s curves at the first snowflake.”

Super stress: For those people suffering from PFWS--post football withdrawal syndrome--the Rev. John Steinbruck has established a 24-hour hotline for Redskin fans in Washington, D.C.

After the Redskins defeated the Buffalo Bills on Jan. 26, Steinbruck noticed a change in the attitude in his congregation and throughout the city.

“People almost looked depressed,” he said. “There were no more tailgate parties, no more gatherings at home. We are offering a support ministry for those who are going through all of the pains of withdrawal and sort of help those folks until we can get them into the less violent, more holistic mode for baseball.”

Anyone for tennis? Deion Sanders of both the Atlanta Falcons and Braves contends that he has done his court-ordered community service after being convicted of using foul language to police in Georgia.

Duluth (Ga.) Municipal Judge Margaret Gettle Washburn begged to differ, saying:

“He’s done none. He wanted everybody to wait until he is through with football. Now he wants us to wait until baseball is over. Next it will be until basketball is over.”

Trivia answer: In 1961, when USC won the Athletic Assn. of Western Universities championship. USC shared the Pacific 10 Conference title with Washington in 1985.

Quotebook: Connie Hawkins, in his final NBA season with the Atlanta Hawks in 1975-76, explained to Coach Cotton Fitzsimmons why he missed a dunk shot: “You’re either going to have to lower the basket, or raise the floor, because The Hawk can’t soar no more.”