MIX ‘N’ MATCH : Whether You’re Looking for Love or Just a Tennis Partner, There’s a Singles Group for You
February is an odd month for Valentine’s Day. It’s often rainy and bleak. Most people are still smarting from the financial pinch of December’s spending spree, and to make matters worse W-2 forms have started trickling in to remind us that tax day is looming.
In spite of it all, romance blossoms at this time of the year just as it might in June. And if you’re an Orange County single trying to perk up an anemic love life, no time is better than now to join one of the many local clubs whose aim is bringing people together.
Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship or just want to meet others and make friends, there are dozens of groups that offer a wide variety of activities, from dancing to horseback riding, discussions to scuba diving. A glance at the singles guide in our 11-Day Calendar listings (page 24) will give you an idea of the number and diversity of singles organizations in Orange County.
It’s been said that in every relationship there are basically three players: the man, the woman, and the man and the woman together. The problem for many, though, is getting all three players on the field at the same time. That’s where Joan Chaytor comes in.
Chaytor is a matchmaker, who claims to have successfully connected more than 1,020 happy couples since 1984 through her Irvine-based Chaytor’s Social Club.
The club offers personalized service within a family-like atmosphere to singles who are seeking relationships.
Members attend weekly parties and dances at lounges and private homes. Chaytor offers individual counseling, personal introductions and warm, enthusiastic support.
“I’m a fun person,” says Chaytor, a petite redhead with a lively sparkle in her eye. “I love to have fun and make it fun for everyone. I’m intuitive and I have a natural gift for matchmaking. That’s why I started the club.”
With more than 500 members, Chaytor’s is similar to other singles groups in that there are slightly more female members than males. Nevertheless, she always makes sure that her events are attended by equal amounts of both sexes. A typical Friday dance will usually have a total of about 110 men and women, mostly professionals, ages anywhere from 25 to 60.
Much of the recruitment of new members occurs at the dances, which are open to the public every other Friday at the Hyatt Regency Irvine. A fee of $5 is charged at the door, which includes dancing to a deejay and an all-you-can-eat taco bar.
New members have a one-on-one consultation with Chaytor, who helps them compose an introductory letter that is placed, along with a photograph, into a special book.
Members look through the books and pick people they’d like to meet. The matchmaker then offers counsel about choices and makes arrangements for an introduction. Members may look through the books as often as they wish.
Besides the dances, there are private house parties every other Saturday. Held in members’ homes (people who volunteer their homes can get a break on dues), the parties usually feature a professional dance floor and deejay and home-cooked food. Parties with themesare given on most major holidays.
One of the most popular aspects of the parties, Chaytor says, is the “hugging circle,” in which she cajoles party-goers into a big circle where they give each other nurturing hugs.
“Many people actually meet each other in the hugging circle, and it really helps to create the warmth and feeling of family,” she explained.
Joe Evans, a 3 1/2-year member from Huntington Beach, agrees. “The hugging circle is the best means of getting people together. Sometimes (Chaytor) has to twist some arms, but it really works, and you end up feeling like the member of a family. If you don’t meet someone, it’s your own fault.”
Most women members agree that the best thing about Chaytor’s club is that it offers a safe, non-threatening way to meet men.
“There aren’t that many places where a single woman can go by herself,” says Marie Marabello of Lake Forest. “This is a safe place. Joan will work for you if you want to meet someone. She introduces people and really makes the atmosphere congenial.”
Initial membership for Chaytor’s club is $225 followed by a $60 renewal fee every six months. This includes at least 52 scheduled activities a year and unlimited use of the books.
But the real draw is the matchmaker.
“I’m a romantic person and I think my club attracts romantic people,” says Chaytor. “People want to be in love and to have a soul mate and it makes me feel good that I can bring romance and love into their lives. That’s what it’s really all about.”
For more information about Chaytor’s Social Club, call (714) 838-5542.
Of course, not everyone is looking for a soul mate. Many singles just want to meet others and make friends with those with common interests. Classic Encounters, a program offered through the Pacific Symphony, is designed to give singles the chance to meet others who share a love of fine music.
About nine times a year members attend Pacific Symphony concerts at the Orange County Performing Arts Center preceded by semi-formal cocktail parties at the Westin South Coast Plaza Hotel. The parties typically include a light buffet, live music and a guest speaker.
According to Classic Encounters committee chairman Walter Buchhagen, the program has about 600 subscription holders, mostly middle- and upper-class professionals between 30 and 55. There are more women subscribers than men, but at most events the sexes are pretty evenly matched.
“We are quite fortunate in that Classic Encounters attracts high-quality people,” says Buchhagen. “We do our darndest to make it a first-rate program, and people really do get a wonderful evening.”
At a recent Classic Encounters event, members dined on fettuccine Alfredo, roast beef, cheeses and sliced fruits, and sipped cocktails. A jazz trio provided cool background music and Pacific Symphony principal violist Robert Becker gave a brief concert preview. The evening concluded with a concert of music by Brahms, Prokofiev and Knussen.
Most members look at Classic Encounters as more than just a singles activity.
“It’s a combination of things,” says Dennis Johnson, an electrical engineer from Santa Ana. “There’s the music and the chance to socialize before the concert. It’s a friendly, casual atmosphere, but primarily it’s the music that attracted me.”
Bonnie McFadden, a Costa Mesa ad agency director, agrees.
“You shouldn’t go to singles groups just to meet the love of your life. You should go because you enjoy the activities. It’s the combination of the music and the socialization that makes this really nice.”
Classic Encounters is offered in three subscription series with prices ranging from $76 to $387 depending on the quality of the seats and the number of events you wish to attend. Four-, five- and nine-event packages are available.
Four programs remain in the 1991/92 season, and subscriptions are available in five price ranges, from $76 to $172 depending on seat location. All packages include the party, validated parking and concert seating.
“I think we have a quality program here,” says Buchhagen. “Music is a centuries-old resource that needs support. We’re bringing in people who might otherwise be too shy to attend a concert by him- or herself, and in that way we help support the music. Ultimately, though, we’re trying to create a positive experience for people, and I think we do that rather well.”
For more information about Classic Encounters, call the Pacific Symphony at (714) 474-2109.
One of Orange County’s biggest and most rapidly growing singles clubs is the Laguna Hills-based Athletic Singles Assn.
At ASA, the bottom line is variety. Club members can choose from 30 to 40 events each month, ranging from ski trips to hot-tub parties, tennis lessons and even bungee jumping.
“It’s the most active club a person could possibly wish to join,” says founder Ed Reder. “We offer so many choices it’s silly to sit at home. We cover anywhere from eight to 10 events every week in a variety of sports and offer a wide range of non-athletic activities as well.”
Reder, 36, started the company in 1985 as a means of salvaging his sinking video dating service. Since then, ASA has expanded into Los Angeles and San Diego and has a total membership of about 1,500.
Members range in age from 25 to 50, with an even split between men and women. The club’s focus, however, is not matching people in relationships, but offering a common ground for people to get to know each other.
“People come to me with a variety of needs,” says Reder. “Some are new to the area and just want to meet people in general. Others are definitely looking for romantic connections.
“We try to provide an outlet for singles to meet so they can enjoy life in the time period they’re in. We give them as many fun opportunities as possible. And if someone meets their match, that’s just icing on the cake.”
A quick glance at the club’s March events calendar tells the story. Highlights include a barbecue picnic and game day on the 1st; a special Improv comedy night on the 6th; a trip to Catalina on the 8th; gourmet dining on the 12th and 17th; a St. Patrick’s Day party on the 14th; a movie night on the 20th; a brunch and reggae dance on the 22nd; a dude ranch getaway the weekend of the 27th; a house party and a trip to Medieval Times on the 28th; sailing in Newport Harbor on the 29th and an Academy Awards party on the 30th.
Jammed in between are regularly scheduled tennis, wallyball, ice skating, golf, cycling, bowling, billiards, dinner dances and work out/massage groups. A telephone hot line is updated daily so that members can get up-to-the-minute information about events, and each member receives a monthly 24-page club magazine.
Newcomers pay a one-time fee of $325 ($275 if you sign up during one of the biweekly orientation meetings). After that, yearly dues are $175. Members can work off part or all of their yearly dues by volunteering time, equipment or their homes for club events.
While many of the regularly scheduled activities are free, some do require an additional cost. However, most are offered with substantial savings. An upcoming weekend kayak adventure to Black Canyon Hot Springs and Lake Mojave, for example, is $125 per person, including kayak and equipment rental, guides and instruction, camping fees and food. Car pools are arranged in advance to keep transportation costs low.
To schedule an appointment for an ASA orientation meeting, call (714) 855-3010.
Making personal connections can be frustrating for anyone, but for single parents it can often be a bitter and lonely process.
One of the largest and most active singles groups in the United States is Parents Without Partners, and here in Orange County the organization has five chapters with a membership of more than 1,400 men and women.
Parents Without Partners emphasizes family activities, with events that prompt interaction between adults and children. More than 200 activities are scheduled each year within the various local chapters, including dances, discussion groups, parties, outings, trips and picnics.
According to Jerelyn Sawyer, president of the Fullerton/Anaheim chapter, Parents Without Partners tries to respond to the needs of single parents by offering them a chance to get out and do things with people like themselves, within a family structure.
“Most members join to have something to take the kids to,” Sawyer says. “They need to be someplace beside the bar scene. Most have been singles for a while and they’re tired of bars. But mostly they have little kids and they need other avenues.
“We try to plan activities that focus on the family. A variety of these are designed to get them out, but in a safe atmosphere where they can mix with other parents and discuss problems and share common ground. It gives them a chance to meet other single people who have been through what they’re going through and who can help along the way.”
On weeknights parents gather at private homes and hear guest speakers discuss topics such as relationships, parenting and family law. Weekends and holidays are filled with picnics, dance lessons, camping trips, theater excursions, concerts, horseback riding, bowling, pizza nights, family dinners and zoo excursions.
Yearly dues range from $30 to $38., The fee includes subscriptions to the chapter’s monthly magazine and to Single Parent magazine. Many activities are free, but some require an additional fee. In some cases, the club subsidizes children’s admission to such activities as concerts and trips to the zoo and theater.
Membership is open to single parents of all ages, but prospective members must be referred by another member or by a responsible person (a local professional or member of the clergy) who can confirm marital status.
Singles can call (818) 321-3100 for general information about Parents Without Partners chapters throughout Southern California. An 800 number is expected to go on line early next week.
Regardless of whether you’re looking for love or exploring friendly relationships, you’ll have a hard time finding a nicer group of people than those at Wheel of Friendship.
This club shares a common thread with several other local singles groups, such as 49 and Holding and Life Begins at 40, in that its membership is mostly older people (age 50 and up).
Wheel of Friendship members, numbering about 250, participate in regularly scheduled TGIF parties, group outings, dinners, dances and excursions, and often join with other older singles groups for holiday parties and special events.
“Basically, we’re a social gathering of mature adults making friends,” says club publicity director Thelma Martin. “It was originally started so that we wouldn’t be stuck sitting at home with nothing to do. Now we’re all so busy we don’t have time for anything else.”
Even with an emphasis clearly on casual good times, love is no stranger to the club’s members.
“We have had at least nine marriages from matches that have occurred within the club,” says treasurer Howard Wolfe. “We may not be a bunch of swingers, but there is romance!”
The club’s most appealing attribute, however, is that it is extremely relaxed. There are few written guidelines and no bylaws. “There’s no pressure on anybody to do anything they don’t want to do,” says Wolfe.
“This is not a cliquish group,” adds Richard Lowler of Yorba Linda. “Everyone is so friendly and willing to share experiences. It’s a good release.”
Betty Sanford of Anaheim agrees. “This is one of the better groups. People will always make room for you so you don’t feel like a bump on a log.”
Membership dues for are $14 a year. Dues include a subscription to the club’s newsletter and admission to most activities. A few club outings require an additional $2 to $5 fee.
For more information about Wheel of Friendship, call (714) 635-3503.