El Pais, a Spanish newspaper in Madrid,...

El Pais, a Spanish newspaper in Madrid, featured L.A. in a big spread in its magazine recently, and guess what the theme was: The glamour? The beaches? The restaurants?

Nope. The traffic violations.

It was headlined: “ Trafico: Los Angeles, la meca de las multas (L.A.: The mecca of traffic tickets).”

While “endless speeding tickets are the automotive panorama” of L.A., drivers can be pardoned by the authorities by attending “crazy” academias de rehabilitacion (comedy traffic schools), the paper informed its no doubt astonished readers.

The comedy approach to traffic enforcement is understandable, El Pais pointed out.

After all, it says, in L.A., driving is somewhat similar to the harebrained plots of comedias norteamericanas (North American TV comedies).

Sure, it’s fun joking about L.A. having a car culture and all. But we know it really isn’t true. So, let’s move on to our next item.

It’s an invitation from Maguire Thomas Partners “to celebrate the Grand Opening of the Grand Avenue Garage”--a downtown parking facility. “Come Party Amongst the Cars,” it says alluringly.

As the County Board of Supervisors was formally approving the appointment of Dr. Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran as county coroner the other day, member Kenneth Hahn mused whether it would be easier just to “call him Doc.”

It’s irrelevant, pointed out colleague Mike Antonovich, adding: “Those who do visit him don’t need to say his name.”

No sooner is the New Hampshire primary over and here we are, announcing the final returns of our survey of L.A. bumper-sticker endorsements.

The name of the runaway winner, who received one vote, was spotted on the Santa Monica Freeway by Jerry Cowle of Pacific Palisades. The sticker said: “Larry Agran for President.” Perhaps this will make up for the fact that the former Irvine mayor, with 298 votes in the New Hampshire primary, finished behind actor/director Tom (“Billy Jack”) Laughlin (2,304), among others.

We sometimes kid the U.S. Postal Service, so it’s only fair to relay how impressed Elizabeth Spedding Calciano of Pasadena was that a letter from Hong Kong addressed to her office on “E Cikiradi Vkud” was actually delivered to her. The letter-carrier correctly translated E Cikiradi Vkud as E.Colorado Blvd.

Long Beach wasn’t as damaged as some areas by the recent storms, but you might get the opposite impression by one sign that seemingly warns of a loop-the-loop hazard (see photo).

There are signs that life is returning to normal here in L.A. River City.

For instance, at City Hall, Councilwoman Joan Milke Flores introduced a motion for a temporary street closure in Wilmington “on Avalon Boulevard, between Anaheim and L streets . . . on Saturday, April 11.” Why? So a group can attempt “to construct the World’s Largest Burrito” for recognition by the Guinness Book of World Records.

You know an event is big in L.A. when the city blocks off the trafico .

miscelLAny:

One study found that Indianapolis, Ind., had the largest percentage of residents subscribing to motorcycle magazines. L.A. was 46th, far behind Anaheim-Santa Ana (No. 17).