For your listening pleasure: Here’s just the...

For your listening pleasure: Here’s just the thing to help you unwind on your hourlong drive home from work--a radio accessory called Auto Talk. It’s an all-traffic channel that enables drivers to hear “continuous, regionally specific” reports. And the system “goes far beyond normal traffic reports.” Listeners get such bonuses as “construction and lane closure delays.” Great--especially if you’re a SigAlert junkie.

Inspired by Daryl Gates?At his 87th birthday party, Charlie Turner said he intends to retire as the honorary mayor of Griffith Park. But not right away. Turner, the voluntary caretaker of a garden area known as Dante’s View, said he’ll step down when he hits 90.

More thrilling than Metro Rail: In the old days, they had real demolition derbies. Consider the accompanying Times ad for a 1906 event: Two trains colliding in Agricultural Park (now the Coliseum). Promoters hardly needed the “only one exhibition” notice.

Even the National Enquirer missed this one: Shocking stuff in Ride! --the normally subdued equestrian magazine--which features a tabloid cover with a photo of a familiar blond superstar and a palomino horse. The headline shouts: “The Feuding Madonnas . . . Horse claims, ‘I’m the real star . . . she ripped off my personality to make millions. . . .’ ” Whoops! It was the April Fool’s edition.

Another advantage to baldness: Researchers report that a study of prison inmates in three areas, including L.A. County, found that violent criminals have higher-than-normal levels of manganese in their hair.

Dueling signs: Glenn Diener of North Hollywood found more evidence of the inferior status of pedestrians in car-crazy Southern California on a light pole in Hermosa Beach.

Only 258 shopping days left: This has to be the earliest start of the holiday madness yet. Donald Lehti heard a catering truck in the Pico-Union area playing, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.”

miscelLAny:

Ponderosa West: A state beach up the coast from Pepperdine University is named for the late star of TV’s “Bonanza,” Dan Blocker.