In a Class of Its Own

Why was your Buzz staff reading the classified ads in Radioactive, a free paper that caters to heavy metal fans and musicians? It’s best not to ask. But here are a few of the more outstanding entries we found:

* BIKER TATTOOS--(temporary) mailed discreetly at discount prices.

* DRUMMER--Wtd to complete politically, socially aware, anti-racist, anti-cliche, progressive metal semi-thrash group. Pro attitude a must.

* BASSIST--Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom dugga, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom dugga, Boom, Boom, Boom. Rock bass player needed. No heavy drugs.

Gearing Up Your Appetite

Buzz went past the Orange Curtain and discovered a groovy hang where you’d least expect it--the new Cafe Auto Spa in Tustin. It melds Euro-cafe ambience with hand car washing and detailing. While cars are pampered, drivers relax under umbrellas.

At the adjacent indoor coffee bar the menu--for the driver and the auto--features cappuccino , espresso, freshly squeezed orange juice, assorted pastries and sandwiches for humans; cleaning packages like “Malibu” and “Rivera” for machines. On the assembly line for the future: six more Orange County locations.

Health Hype

Remember the good old days when hats used to be things that just covered your head or kept you in fashion? Now it seems every company has become a savvy marketer. Take the ad we found in a recent copy of the New Yorker for those canvas bucket-style hats favored by retirees. It’s no longer just a hat--”Start Fighting Skin Cancer Now!” screams the copy. The Duckster Sun Crusher offers protection from those nasty sun rays and promises “No Exposure at the Temple.” We think this ad may be next: “Stop Excessive Atmospheric Moisture From Touching Your Skin With the Amazing Rain Shield Coat!”