Why Is Universal Studios Tours Playing With Fire?

It has been one of the most hyped events of the summer, and I don’t mean the Olympics or Ross Perot. The Times jumped on the “blandwagon” with its pun-headlined Calendar story about Hollywood’s latest theme park extravaganza, “Universal Tours Fires Up Its Backdraft” (June 24).

My 9-year-old nephew, Jake, still claims the highlight of his last trip to Los Angeles was Earthquake--The Big One on the Universal Studios Tour. Now all he can talk about is experiencing the new Universal shake-and-bake attraction: Backdraft: 10,000 Degrees of Live Excitement, based on the firefighting movie “Backdraft.” What human tragedy will be immortalized at an amusement park next?

Putting his obsession with “Wayne’s World” briefly on hold, Jake sounded like a “Backdraft” sound bite. “Uncle Richie, we’ll be surrounded by blazing beams, exploding barrels, walls of flame, even a raging river of fire!”

Hey, that’s entertainment! Where else can you see a warehouse burn down and ruptured fuel lines set ablaze? Call me old-fashioned, but the last sensation I want at a theme park is to be engulfed in fire, a natural phenomenon that has destroyed and scarred the lives of far too many people in the real world.

What is Universal planning for fall? A Rioting & Looting ride so tourists can get a taste of the real thing? (“Honey, quick, get the Instamatic, they’ve just torched the Korean dry cleaners!”)

There is at least some tasteless irony of an 8.3 earthquake being duplicated at Universal, because earthquakes are a natural phenomenon that don’t kill people daily, and are an endless source of fascination for relatives who bombard our answering machines after each aftershock.

Earthquake is a Richter scale tram ride for tourists, and a frightening reality for Angelenos. But particularly after the still-smoking embers of L.A.’s tragic post-Rodney G. King verdict, do we really need a $10-million inferno to burn down 200 times a day? And how bizarre that the setting is Universal Studios itself, the target of a destructive arsonist some years back.

Based on Ron Howard’s 1991 movie drama, the literally hot “Backdraft” extravaganza has flame-bursting effects that will reach 2,000 degrees. Didn’t our mothers teach us not to play with fire? When I was a kid, my parents took me to a theme park with giant revolving teacups you could spin around in, and I was happy.

Because it was a hit in the theaters and a video favorite, “Backdraft” the movie will undoubtedly fuel perpetual lines for its splashy tour tie-in. Yet to anyone who has lost loved ones or property to the ravages of fire, it seems natural to question the exploitative and even environmental aspects. But where there’s smoke, there’s money.

In a film year of lethal sequels and wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sex and violent effects, “Backdraft” the Meltdown fits into the all-too-familiar “car wreck syndrome” of how we all slow down while driving if there’s twisted metal on the road, equally fascinated and relieved that it didn’t happen to us.

This is not to say, by the way, that the Universal Tour isn’t a spectacular introduction to filmmaking and a perfect place to send out-of-town guests. King Kong, E.T. and Jaws are popular attractions with a sense of humor.

It’s reassuring that the creators of Backdraft-- 10,000 Degrees of Live Excitement--have a sense of responsibility by introducing the show with a short film about fire dangers featuring the movie’s star, Kurt Russell, and director, Ron Howard.

It’s also ironic that The Times, which spotlights human disaster and tragedy in the news sections, heralded human disaster and tragedy as an amusement in the Calendar section. Burn, baby, burn.

Once upon a time, it was enough to experience disaster in a movie theater, whether it was “The Poseidon Adventure” or “The Towering Inferno.”

Now, I shudder to think what the next big, live Universal Tour attraction will be. Are we that far away from a J.F.K. Shooting Gallery? Perhaps a “Basic Instinct” brothel? Or, on a musical note, “Cop Killer: The Rollercoaster”?

Great balls of fire, drop me off at the “Psycho” house!

Counterpunch is a weekly Calendar feature of commentary and opinion. Leaders in arts and entertainment and related fields offer their perspectives on vital issues of the day and their responses to columns and reviews.