ON THE BLUE ACRYLIC LINKS : When Those Moats and Anthills Try Your Patience, Keep in Mind That Mini Golf Is <i> Fun</i>

You’re on Course Two at Camelot, and you’re on a roll.

You’ve lofted your fluorescent-orange ball cleanly into the clown’s mouth on hole 2. Despite the din of the nearby freeway, you get the automatic hole-in-one at hole 4’s big pink castle. On hole 7, you tap the ball deftly over the narrow bridge that crosses the water hazard.

You’re feeling good. You tip your cap to the imaginary gallery, which is applauding appreciatively.

Then you get to hole 8.

At the end of the straight approach rises the king of the course’s “anthills”--a three-foot-high conical mound, with the hole set in a slight depression on top. You gauge the distance, hunch over the ball and send a confident putt rolling down the brilliant blue acrylic carpet.

You watch as the ball climbs to the rim of the hill, falters, and rolls mockingly back to your feet. Keeping your cool, you send a second shot straight as an arrow. It climbs the hill, hits the rim of the hole--and spins out and back down the mound.

And so it goes. You hit the ball too hard; you hit the ball too soft. Beads of sweat appear on your brow as a birthday party of 7-year-olds catches up, and waits restlessly for you to move on. You think you hear snickers. You bogie, double-bogie, triple-bogie. You pick up the ball, mark a “6” on your score card, and slink to hole 9.

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Miniature golf is, like the full-grown version of the sport, something of a twisted game. Sure, it poses as a wholesome family pursuit, a great place to take the kids. But kids are too busy having fun to realize what adults quickly learn: miniature golf can mess with your mind.

Doors open and close at intervals clearly designed to induce mild panic. There are ramps, angled obstacles, bumps and ridges and loop-the-loops, running water, drawbridges that raise and lower, and all manner of whimsical buildings, from little California missions to the quintessential windmill.

In some ways, the game is more like billiards than golf. Hitting straight is only part of the battle: There are angle shots galore, and holes that require varying degrees of “touch.” Anthills are the extreme example of a hole that will punish you equally if you hit it too hard or too soft.

You might tell yourself it’s all in fun, but don’t say it out loud. Real Americans play to win, or haven’t you been listening to the election-year rhetoric? Besides, consistently banking your ball off the front of a bright red scale-model schoolhouse can be a special kind of humiliation, especially in front of the kids or your date.

And as much as you’d like to think that most of the game is blind luck, it is possible to get really good. A search of the Times library dredged up a story on a Los Alamitos man who was a national champion at Putt-Putt, a Midwestern brand of miniature golf without the kitsch. He once scored a 20 on an 18-hole course.

The key to the whole thing is a good basic putting stroke, one you can repeat (see photos, Page 11) with some degree of accuracy. Hitting the ball straight is good; hitting the ball straight and with control of speed is better. The toughest holes in miniature golf are the ones that reward finesse.

Beyond that, just walk each hole before you hit. It can be hard sometimes to tell where you’re supposed to hit the ball for best results. Also, many of the holes have bumps and ridges built into the carpet that can be hard to spot from a distance, especially at night.

With moving obstacles (closing doors, drawbridges, etc.) watch for a couple of cycles before shooting and determine the best time to hit. Don’t panic, either because of the obstacle or because of the people who might be waiting to putt. Rushing into the shot will actually take you longer, because you’ll be taking more shots.

One golfer on a recent night at Fountain Valley displayed the right attitude, as he and his young daughter waited to play: “If I wanted to be in a rush, I’d be on the freeway.”

Orange County has four miniature golf centers, with 11 total courses. Camelot Golfland, in Anaheim, is the biggest with five courses; its sister center in Stanton, Southern Hills Golfland, has two courses. Huish Family Fun Center in Fountain Valley and Golf N’ Stuff in Anaheim also have two courses each.

No more courses are likely to be built, not with land prices being what they are, but the ones that exist report solid business. Summer nights (and weekends during the school year) still bring out the teens--this is still a dating game, if you were wondering--while family business is up during the days, reports Mark Williams, manager of Fountain Valley’s Family Fun Center.

Although the recent heat wave hurt business a bit, “we’re still up” in total sales for the year, Williams says. “We’re still doing better than ever.” Families account for the biggest growth, he says: “Saturday night we still get a lot of teens, but we’ve really noticed an increase in families.”

The Fountain Valley center, like other miniature golf courses in the county, offers more than putting. It has a recently-opened “Kiddie Carnival” and batting cages for, instance, while Camelot Golfland in Anaheim has water slides. All four Orange County miniature golf centers have arcades.

Following is a guide to the county’s miniature golf centers. Please note that weekday hours at all the centers will be reduced in early- to mid-September, after school starts.

CAMELOT GOLFLAND

What: Five 18-hole courses, rated from easy to hard; arcade games, snack bar, water slides.

When: Sunday through Thursday, 10 a.m. to midnight; Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m. to 12:30 a.m.

Where: 3200 E. Carpenter Ave., Anaheim.

Whereabouts: From the Riverside (91) Freeway, go north on Kraemer Boulevard and then right on La Palma Avenue. Turn right on Shepard Street and park in the large lot on the left at the intersection of Carpenter Avenue.

Wherewithal: $4.75 for adults, $3.50 for children ages 5 to 11, $2.75 for seniors.

Where to call: (714) 630-3340.

Camelot is the most elaborate of the Orange County centers, with five full courses. Each is rated easy, medium or hard, which can be a boon for families with small children. A “hard” rating mostly means more anthills, in a variety of bedeviling shapes and sizes.

The cleverly-constructed courses wind through and around fountains and streams of running water, along with the requisite number of brightly-painted pagodas, castles, windmills and the like. Golfland also displays a fondness for three-headed dragons, which pop up at various places.

If Camelot has a quirk, it’s the higher-than-average number of automatic holes-in-one. Often, if you hit a ball up the center ramp or perform some other noteworthy deed, the ball will clank into a cup marked “hole-in-one” rather than spill onto the adjacent green. Camelot has fewer moving obstacles, per course, than the other O.C. centers.

Camelot’s arcade room may be the biggest in Orange County, with some 300 games, and it’s now being expanded. The snack bar is a full-size sit-down eatery, with pizza and other meals.

Note: Next door to Camelot is a Huish Family Fun Center, sister to the center in Fountain Valley. While there is no miniature golf at this one, there are bumper boats, a maze game, outdoor rolling skating, go-carts and batting cages.

HUISH FAMILY FUN CENTER

What: Two 18-hole courses; bumper boats, go-carts, arcade, batting cages, a children’s carnival.

When: Golf opens daily at 9 a.m. Closing hours vary according to each night’s business (generally open until about midnight).

Where: 16800 Magnolia Ave., Fountain Valley.

Whereabouts: From the San Diego (I-405) Freeway, go south on Magnolia Avenue and turn left into the parking lot before the first traffic light.

Wherewithal: $5 for adults, $3.50 for children ages 12 and under.

Where to call: (714) 842-1111.

The two courses here are not rated for difficulty. Both offer a mix of easy and more difficult holes, resulting in courses that are challenging enough for adults without being too frustrating for kids.

In general, there are more moving obstacles here than at Camelot, and fewer automatic holes-in-one. There is also a nefarious twist on the anthill: holes placed on small, raised platforms in various shapes. They are hard to describe, but trust us--they can lead to a fast rise in blood pressure.

The Kiddie Carnival, with carnival-style rides for small children, is the newest addition to the center. The arcade offers a wide variety of video and pinball games: check out the detective shootout game with real videotaped actors. A Bullwinkle’s restaurant--one of those themed joints with kiddie entertainment--is on the premises.

GOLF N’ STUFF

What: Two 18-hole courses, arcade.

When: Daily, 9 a.m. to midnight.

Where: 1656 S. Harbor Blvd., Anaheim.

Whereabouts: From the Santa Ana (I-5) Freeway, take Harbor Boulevard north and turn left on Freedman Way (across the street from Disneyland). Turn left into the parking lot. The center is not accessible directly from Harbor Boulevard.

Wherewithal: $5 for adults; $4 for children ages 6 to 12 and seniors.

Where to call: (714) 778-4100.

This is the mellowest of Orange County’s golf centers--two compact, nicely designed courses that don’t offer any major challenges, making them ideal for family golfing. One quirk is that a few of the moving obstacles move quickly indeed--the bobbing bucket at the wishing well is positively spastic.

The location, right across from Disneyland and amid a string of nearby motels, marks this as primarily a tourist diversion, although locals will find traffic manageable in the off-season.

The courses are attractive and well-maintained. If you’re wondering why they’re easier on the eye than some of the other courses in Orange County, it could be because the greens are actually green, rather than bright blue or red. A low-key arcade shares the premises.

SOUTHERN HILLS GOLFLAND

What: Two 18-hole courses, arcade.

When: Daily, 10 a.m. to midnight.

Where: 12611 Beach Blvd., Stanton.

Whereabouts: From the Garden Grove (22) Freeway, go north on Beach Boulevard for two blocks. The center is on the left.

Wherewithal: $4.75 for adults, $3.50 for children ages 5 to 11, $2.75 for seniors.

Where to call: (714) 895-4550.

The two courses here are similar, in design and difficulty, to the courses at Camelot Golfland, which is owned by the same company. In addition to similar hazards (some identical, such as the tall red pagoda), one distinction is a couple of fun “bull’s-eye” holes, in which the ball is hit up a ramp and launched into a target area. A bull’s-eye rates an automatic hole-in-one.

As at Camelot, the courses are rated for difficulty (one hard, one easy). One course quirk: Many of the holes are set in a slight depression, so missed putts will sometimes roll in if they aren’t hit too hard.

The arcade features about 100 games. There is a snack bar that offers pizza.

Playing to Win

The key to a good game of miniature golf--the kind of game that will dazzle your friends and intimidate your foes--is solid putting. Good basic technique and a swing that you can repeat with accuracy will defeat those dragons on the course.