Knocking Off the Image : Face It, Some Elements of Rock Style Were Just Too Much for Anybody

If you were a guy growing up in the ‘50s, you wanted to look like Elvis, right? OK, maybe you wanted to look like Pat Boone. But odds are you looked more like Buddy Holly. Even Buddy Holly wanted to look like Elvis, but he looked, well, like Buddy Holly.

You could effect elements of Elvis’ style, but there was no way you could really look like Elvis. And, the horrible truth be told, most people who really really tried to look like Elvis looked downright silly.

And so be it through the ages as pop music has dominated the fashion scene: The loftier the image, the less relevant it was to how people actually could and did look.

The more average, mundane and just plain plain a star’s appearance, the more successfully it could be adopted by the public. Or as Bob Dylan said, “For the loser now will be later to win.” The times may a-change, but the rules stay the same.

And Bob should know. Thousands failed at trying to write like Dylan, but scads succeeded at looking like him. And there was nothing special to it. Any Tom, Dick or Bruce with a tousled mop of hair and a cold sneer could look like he just stepped off the cover of “Freewheelin’.” But who could pull off looking like James Brown? Only the Godfather of Soul himself.

So, as far as really being fashion leaders, score Buddy and Bob as hits, and Elvis and the Soul Brother No. 1 as misses. Some more:

* Big fancy hair and sparkling gowns looked great on Diana Ross. How would that look on you? A miss.

* The ironed-straight-with-bangs look associated with Mary Travers of Peter Paul & Mary was something you (or your sister) could actually pull off. Remember, it was Cher’s first--and only flattering--look. A hit.

* Rolling Stone Keith Richards perfected the sexy, devil-may-care, drugged-out rocker look in the mid-’60s. Virtually anyone else who tried it merely looked drugged out. A miss--unless your name is Slash.

* Eric Clapton has changed his looks so many times through the years that at one time or another, everyone has looked like him. A hit.

* Jimi Hendrix’s flamboyant gear and striking stature made him unique and inimitable. A miss.

* Janis Joplin’s flamboyant gear made her the queen of the ugly ducklings, and an inspiration to many. A hit.

* The Bee Gees? White disco suits? C’mon! A miss.

* Neil Young’s earnest-man-with-long-hair-in-plaid-flannel-and-torn-jeans look still lives with the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana. A hit.

* Johnny Rotten looked daring and menacing. Would-be Johnnies looked (and still look) lost. A miss.

* Cyndi Lauper. See Janis Joplin. A hit.

* OK, Madonna liberated lingerie, but did you see the Madonna wanna-bes at the Sports Arena concerts in 1990? A miss.

* Michael Jackson. Pu-leese! A miss.

* In the early days, L.L. Cool J, with his Kangol hat and his radio was just a boy from his ‘hood. A hit.

* The Cure’s Robert Smith’s black lipstick and scarecrow hair says that it’s OK to be yourself, which many fans interpret to mean they must look like him. A miss.

* Morrissey’s average-shy-guy appearance says that it’s OK to be yourself, which many fans interpret to mean that it’s OK to be an average shy-guy. A hit. And when he wears glasses, they’re just like Buddy Holly’s.