Bum Steer

Some steers will go through just about anything to get the big and beefy look that 4-H judges go for. They’ll even wear wigs--dyed horsehair or twine that is moussed, blow-dryed and sometimes spray-painted. The Wall Street Journal reports that big money is to blame--champ steers sell for as much as $200,000. And so, the steers gobble diuretics to get rid of that nasty bloat, chug beer to fill unsightly flat stomachs, flash capped-teeth grins. There’s even a bovine version of silicone implants--the steers are injected with vegetable oil “to improve their contours.” And the corruption is spreading: Hogs are showing up with nose jobs and having paraffin injected to smooth out wrinkles.

But there is a movement to stop the cheating--essentially a call to let steer be steer. It’s gotten so you can’t tell what’s real on a farm animal unless, as Don Jobes Jr., assistant manager of the Houston Livestock Show told the Journal, “you walk up to the steer and pull its hair.”