The Romance Broker : Twice-Divorced Matchmaker Steers Hundreds of Jewish Couples Down Aisle
The plaque on the wall says be persistent if you want to find true love. The dog on the floor says be patient.
The yenta behind the desk says be realistic.
“Some people think that if you can buy an automobile and order anything you want with it that you can do the same with humans too,” said Gloria Karns. “You can’t.”
Karns knows. For 16 years the Jewish matchmaker has tried to steer hundreds of lonely men and women down the right path--that twisting and bumpy one that leads to matrimony.
Karns knows about that too. She’s twice divorced and currently single--something that doesn’t seem to scare away business. She assures her women clients that she is not skimming off the cream of the crop for herself.
The other day, success stories No. 875 and 876 took the big step and were married in a garden ceremony in the San Fernando Valley. Back at her West Los Angeles office, Karns removed their folders from the “active” drawer in her crowded file cabinet.
The 44-year-old bride had dated 11 of Karns’ men before finding the guy of her dreams, according to cryptic notes scribbled inside her file. The 48-year-old groom had dated 20 of Karns’ women before he popped the question.
These may be the ‘90s. But the ancient practice of matchmaking is plenty up to date for the middle-aged professionals that make up the majority of Karns’ 490 active clients.
At their age, they’ve decided that singles bars are boring and the gym scene is tiring. Affairs around the office water cooler these days are downright hazardous to careers.
“When your social circle runs out, there’s nobody else to know,” Karns says. “I widen that circle.”
Karns was a travel agent before starting her dating business in 1976. She reasoned there would be a demand for a yenta’s services because an estimated 47% of the 800,000 Jews in Southern California are single adults.
Although other Jewish matchmakers occasionally come and go, her service seems unique--even though Los Angeles’ 50 or so dating services include such specialties as Russian-American and biracial introductions and dates for Catholics, “rich men and pretty women” and gays.
Karns charges $750 for a six-month membership that guarantees lonely hearts two introductions a month to members of the opposite sex. There is no videotaping or computer searching involved. Karns relies on intuition, not inventions.
She starts with an informal meeting in her cluttered Pico Boulevard office. As clients discuss their likes and dislikes, Karns scribbles notes. She snaps a Polaroid picture of each person that helps jog her memory when matches are made on the first and 15th of each month.
“Gloria knows people on the emotional and gut level,” said Carl Rosenfeld, a 44-year-old North Hollywood telemarketing worker who said he met “the woman of my dreams” with the first name that Karns gave him.
Said Karns: “When you sit down and interview somebody for an hour, there are no mysteries left.”
Not everyone is ready for romance, however. Karns occasionally sends men to assertiveness training. Women are sometimes sent to fat farms. One person was sent to a sexual surrogate.
Karns stops short of giving sexual advice herself, although she will offer suggestions about dating. The plaque nailed to the wall above her desk urges clients to keep trying, even if their first dates are losers. “Before you meet your handsome prince you have to kiss a lot of toads,” the sign warns.
Karns keeps close tabs on people once dating begins. She makes certain clients are available before passing along their names and phone numbers. She requires both parties to report in after the date so she can gauge how things went.
“She’s like a surrogate mother,” said client Karen Lee, a 40ish medical administrator from Beverly Hills who has met 20 men through Karns during the past two years. “Even if you don’t connect, it’s a nice evening out, not an endurance test.”
Bakersfield salesman Richard Eglin, 43, said the nine women from Karns’ list he has dated since February have “come close to the criteria” that he has set for a mate. “I have a real trust for Gloria’s instincts,” he said.
The 438 couples who have married because of her apparently felt the same way.
“It worked for us,” said Alice Zelden of Huntington Harbour, who married Sherwin Zelden eight years ago after being introduced by Karns. Zelden said the tale of how they met is a popular dinner table story at parties.
Some couples, such as Sara and David Ohringer of West Hills, publicly acknowledge the matchmaker during their wedding ceremonies. “How can words express the deep gratitude we feel? It’s all because of you,” the couple later wrote Karns after tying the knot in June.
But other couples are reluctant to admit they were set up. If asked, they say “a friend” introduced them.
The matchmaker has attended all but five of her 438 weddings. (Two eloped, one ceremony was held in Miami and one was in Mexico. She missed the most recent wedding last weekend when a spider bite sent her to the doctor, she said.) She even set her son up with the woman he married.
Only six of the marriages have ended in divorce, although Karns has gone to great lengths to help some of her couples through rough times.
Take Cleopatra, the dog that spends its days dozing on her office floor. Karns did.
She became the dog’s owner seven years ago when one of her newly married couples had a falling out over the miniature dachshund. It had been the wife’s pet, but the husband was impatient for her to get rid of it.
“He told her either the dog went or he went,” Karns said. “I warned her I wouldn’t trade the dog back for her husband if she changed her mind later.”
Cleopatra turned into a good companion for Karns. Or as she might put it, it’s a perfect match.
“I’m not actively looking for myself,” said Karns, 56. “I have my two sons and my three grandchildren. And I have Cleo.”
