A Crime Story That You Can Sink Your Teeth Into

A thousand (or so) small deliberations.

* Taking a bite out of crime. Or: Petty theft, dentures?

Myke Santos, a communications supervisor with the San Diego Police Department, tells of a call this week from a 75-year-old woman in East San Diego who reported an unusual theft: her false teeth.

The dispatcher thought maybe it was an inside job and asked the woman if she had a dog.

“Yes,” the woman answered, “but the dog could never wear my teeth!”

A squad car was sent to the woman’s home as a “courtesy.” And, yes, the dog has been cleared.

* Quickie service.

A North County outfit advertises in San Diego Singles magazine that it will deliver condoms to “most North County locations” within one hour.

* ABC’s “20/20” has gotten the first interview granted by San Diego cop-rapist Henry Hubbard.

Among his revelations: Hubbard is still not “in touch with his feelings.”

The “20/20” story will include a clip from an SDPD recruiting film that used Hubbard as a model officer.

* Despite a personal plea, Susan Golding failed Wednesday night to get the mayoral endorsement of the local chapter of the National Women’s Political Caucus.

* “Mr. Jones,” the Richard Gere-Lena Olin movie shot in San Diego, won’t be ready for Christmas as planned. Spring at the earliest.

* The smell of success?

Everybody is looking to see what difference new editor Tina Brown will make at the New Yorker, but San Diego City Club President George Mitrovich thinks he’s already found a profound one: more scented perfume ads.

“It looks like the New Yorker, but it smells like Vanity Fair,” he says.

(I could say “he sniffs,” but that’s too obvious.)

* Stacy Taylor, the talk-show host on KFMB, has developed a system for classifying callers.

Including: 2-A, young guy: How did he get so stupid so early in life? 1-C, talk show classic: the flatulent windbag. 2-D, religious nut, probably a recovering addict.

4-C, sycophant : tries to suck up to the host to buy more time to present moronic point of view . 3-D, bitter minority type: Whitey caused my athlete ‘ s foot!

Fundamental Questions

More political whirl.

* A crew from the “MacNeil-Lehrer News Hour” is in town for a story on the fundamentalist Christian right-wing political movement.

Of interest: the La Mesa-Spring Valley school board, where fundamentalists may win a majority, and the campaign of Steve Baldwin in the 77th Assembly District (El Cajon, La Mesa, Lemon Grove, Bonita).

Baldwin, a Republican, was among organizers of a (successful) 1990 push by fundamentalists to run for school boards (and other offices) throughout the county.

But these days he prefers not to talk to the national press about his role in the rise of the Christian right.

He’s turned down requests by MacNeil-Lehrer, Playboy, the New Yorker and Time magazine.

“We’re not interested in these slanted stories that appear occasionally about the Christian right,” says Baldwin spokesman Jim McKinney. “Steve is not part of the Christian right.”

Not easily discouraged, the MacNeil-Lehrer crew trailed Baldwin to a candidates forum in the South Bay.

“They chased him around,” complains McKinney.

* Jesse Jackson is set to arrive in San Diego tonight for a voter registration drive by a welfare rights group.

* The rigors of public service.

Councilwoman Abbe Wolfsheimer is due back at City Hall on Monday after a three-week trip to London.

Along with sightseeing, she’s been helping the Metropolitan Transit Development Board with its insurance negotiations with Lloyd’s of London.

The MTDB will pick up some of her expenses (including air fare and part of her hotel bill), but she’s promised, “in view of the budget crisis,” to reimburse the city for her salary during the trip.

For the record: The insurance contract with Lloyd’s is renegotiated each year. MTDB staffers and one or more board members make the annual trek to London.

A “Hands-On” Seminar

I’m interested in that “hands-on” seminar advertised for First Methodist Church in Mission Valley: “Practical Application of Intimate Relationships Skills.”