Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

If you’re looking for a good popularity gauge for celebrities and politicians, the autographed baseball market seems as good a place to look as any.

A price list from the Rancho Mirage sports memorabilia shop Field of Dreams shows that Vice President Dan Quayle is struggling at $49.95.

That amount is considerably below prices for baseballs signed by former President Gerald Ford ($179.95), basketball star Michael Jordan ($149.95), entertainer George Burns and golfer Arnold Palmer ($129.95 each), former astronaut Alan Shepard ($99.95) and singer Dinah Shore ($69.95).

Still, Quayle ranks ahead of the $39.95 going rate for most celebrities.

At that price you can get an autographed ball by such celebrities as Frankie Avalon, Pat Boone, Merv Griffin, Gary Owens, Telly Savalas, Steve Allen, Barbara Eden, Bob Newhart, Carroll O’Connor, Gene Hackman and Brent Musburger.

Fast Break

It’s too early to tell whether Magic Johnson’s return to the Los Angeles Lakers will be worth the $14.6 million the team will pay him, but it already seems to be pumping a few extra dollars into the sports memorabilia market.

Joie Casey, president of Field of Dreams, said Johnson’s announcement last week has already boosted interest--and eventually should boost prices--in Magic-related items.

“We expect interest to double for at least a week,” Casey said.

Not that the items are cheap to begin with. Anything signed by Johnson already commands $350 to $500, Casey said. Johnson’s basketball cards range as high as $500 for his first as a pro.

Authoritative Profession

Laid off lately? Try the fast-growing career field of expertese , in which you become an authority in some obscure subject that gets you on one of the endless number of talk shows.

The just-published “Yearbook of Experts Authorities & Spokespersons” is 780 pages of spokespersons and experts, including one expert on how to be a good expert.

Local experts include the Phobia Institute of West Los Angeles (one specialty is the historical origins of April Fool’s Day), Sierra Madre’s Greener Pastures Institute (“helping disillusioned urban dwellers make a successful transition to smaller cities and towns”) and the Los Angeles-based Fans of X-Rated Entertainment (chief spokesman William Margold is described as “certainly the X-rated industry’s most knowledgeable as well as most controversial spokesperson.”)

Briefly . . .

A downtown Los Angeles hair salon is featuring a Monday-through-Friday “Election Year Discount” . . . Gainey Vineyard in Santa Ynez has sold about 1,400 cases of a special “Rece$$ion Red” wine whose label features a graph showing a plunging economic indicator . . . Marketing Challenge: Columbia Tristar Home Video is touting the videocassette release of the Brooke Shields bomb “Brenda Starr”--which some theaters reported was watched by an average of 10 moviegoers per show--as “the fresh romantic comedy adventure that leaps from the comic strip right onto the silver screen.”