Read on About Mice, Mankind, Helicopters, Politics and Johns

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* The ultimate example of political correctness may have arrived at San Diego City Hall.

It’s an advertisement for a job as executive director of the Equal Opportunities Commission of Madison, Wis.

The executive director is supposed to make sure no one is discriminated against in housing, employment, public accommodations or credit on the basis of:

“sex, race, religion, color, national origin or ancestry, age, handicap, marital status, source of income, arrest record or conviction, less than honorable (military) discharge , physical appearance, sexual orientation, political beliefs or the fact that a person is a student.”

(Can you imagine not giving someone credit just because of a criminal record or questions about his or her source of income? Heavens!)

For anyone interested in the job, applications should be sent to the city/county building on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard in Madison.

* A year after whipping Saddam, Marines at Camp Pendleton have a new enemy: mice.

A mouse population explosion has hit the base. Marines are being instructed to bait traps with peanut butter, bacon, hot dogs, raisins and popcorn.

* Jimmy Wilkins, the special assistant to Sheriff Jim Roache who is in trouble for unauthorized use of a helicopter, has an interesting approach to ground transportation, too.

He’s got tinted windows on his department-issued car. (Try that as a civilian and you’ll get a ticket.)

And yes, wags are now calling the sheriff’s helicopter program TWA: Trans-Wilkins Airways.

* The California Journal, which has a good record on these things, says that despite the 51% to 36% Democratic registration edge, Democratic candidate Bob Filner “is no lock” in the 50th Congressional District.

Look for Republican opponent Tony Valencia to continue pounding Filner on his high absentee record at the City Council and Housing Commission.

* Next time there is a john bust along hooker-infested El Cajon Boulevard, Councilman John Hartley plans to use a council meeting to announce the names and occupations of those arrested.

With special emphasis on repeat offenders.

Knowing Your Opponent

Animals and politics.

* Jim Ellis is trying to reclaim his seat in the state Senate, but the knock on him is that after four years out of office he’s out of touch politically.

Maybe his radio commercials are proof.

The last name of Ellis’ opponent--incumbent Lucy Killea--is (repeatedly) mispronounced. For the record (and the Ellis campaign), it’s pronounced kil-LAY.

* When Candice Bergen was spotted last spring on “Murphy Brown” carrying a coffee mug from an animal rights group, zoos across the country decided to seek equal time and sent Bergen numerous mugs and stuff.

Georgeanne Irvine, public relations manager at the San Diego Zoo, opted to delay until the deluge had ended.

So she waited until a few weeks ago to send a mug, a “naked mole-rat” T-shirt and an offer of a VIP tour.

Now Bergen has sent a response: The San Diego Zoo mug has been put in Murphy’s office and Bergen will be down soon for the tour.

* Nobody mentions Dick Silberman by name, but he may still be an issue in the mayoral campaign.

Question 65 of a recent 88-question poll conducted for Susan Golding’s campaign asks voters whether they agree or disagree with the following:

“Although I am concerned that Susan Golding knew about her former husband’s illegal activities, the fact that all law enforcement organizations endorse her would be an important consideration to me in voting.”

A Way With Words

Words in the air.

* “There’s been a shooting, Shotgun.”

Traffic reporter explaining to K-BEST disc jockey (Shotgun) Tom Kelly why Interstate 805 was at a halt Monday afternoon.

* “Careers have been ruined, often on the basis of mere innuendo and without a shred of due process.”

James Webb, former secretary of the Navy, writing on the op-ed page of the New York Times about the Navy’s handling of the Tailhook scandal.

* “He has long hair and says quack like a duck.”

San Diego police dispatcher broadcasting a description of a suspect Sunday night.