COLLEGE FOOTBALL / GENE WOJCIECHOWSKI : Sequel Was a Hit Despite Same Old Story at End

A post-mortem of the most entertaining, bizarre and pathos-filled game of the season, Miami’s 19-16 victory over Florida State:

--We don’t know what game ABC’s Keith Jackson was watching, but in our humble opinion, the Hurricanes and Seminoles played exactly like the No. 2 and No. 3 teams in the country.

“The defenses are brilliant, but the offenses are inept,” Jackson said during Saturday’s telecast.

Uh, Keith, that’s sort of what happens to an offense when the other team’s defense is playing so well. Ever hear of cause and effect? Now, go pin your ears back, say, ‘ Fummmmmmmblllle !’ a few times and shake it off, big guy.

Meanwhile, Miami Coach Dennis Erickson called the victory, “the most physical game I’ve ever been involved with.” So beat up were the Hurricanes that Erickson didn’t dare do what he did last Monday--that is, have his team practice with pads.

--We dare anyone to find a better collection of linebackers than the ones assembled at the Orange Bowl last Saturday. Miami’s Jessie Armstead, Darrin Smith, Micheal Barrow and Florida State’s Marvin Jones were, well, brilliant. Our condolences to the voters of the Butkus Award, who have to choose the nation’s best linebacker.

--When it comes to intimidation, the Hurricanes are without peer. As Florida State’s Dan Mowrey lined up for a last-second, game-tying field-goal attempt, Miami players began taunting him.

“We talk trash, but I can’t tell you what we said,” said cornerback Ryan McNeil, who was on the field for the final play.

When pressed, McNeil acknowledged that the Hurricanes chanted to Mowrey, “Gerry Thomas . . . Gerry Thomas.”

“We were reminiscing about last year,” McNeil said.

Thomas, who is no longer on the Florida State team, missed a potential game-winning 34-yarder against Miami in 1991. Of course, Mowrey missed his 39-yarder against the Hurricanes, too.

--Miami quarterback Gino Torretta won’t win the Heisman Trophy, but that’s OK with Erickson. Erickson told reporters earlier this week that he wouldn’t trade Torretta for any other quarterback in the country.

“Torretta was the difference,” Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden said.

--And say what you will about Bowden--he can’t beat Miami . . . he can’t recruit a kicker . . . he’ll never win a national championship, etc.--but this much is fact: Unlike Florida and a lot of other programs that no longer play Miami, Bowden has fought to keep the Hurricanes on the schedule. Bowden will play anyone, anywhere, anytime. And so what if he has lost seven of the last eight games against the Hurricanes. “My goal now is to win the next eight from Miami,” he said.

In giddier times, when Louisville was on its way to a 10-1-1 record and a 1991 Fiesta Bowl victory over Alabama, Cardinal Coach Howard Schnellenberger announced that his program was on a “collision course” with the national championship.

“The only variable is time,” he said.

Yes, well, if Schnellenberger doesn’t start winning some games, he will be on a collision course with unemployment. The Cardinals are 1-4, and by the looks of their schedule, might not win more than two or three more games, if that. And for the first time during his tenure as coach, more and more Cardinal fans are calling local sports talk shows to second-guess or blast Schnellenberger’s game-day decisions.

Last season, Louisville finished 2-9, the same record Schnellenberger recorded in 1985, his first season as Cardinal coach. And with Bill Curry at Kentucky, Schnellenberger risks losing more and more in-state and regional recruits.

Schnellenberger, whose contract runs through 1994, is probably safe with the Louisville administration. But the truth is this: Unless a new facility is built to replace the antiquated 35,500-seat Cardinal Stadium (a city-owned baseball stadium shared with the triple-A Louisville Redbirds), Schnellenberger’s dream of a Louisville national championship is doomed. In this case, the only variable is a February vote to decide the fate of a proposed stadium plan. Without a new place to play, Schnellenberger will lose the recruiting battles--if he isn’t already--with Kentucky, Indiana and Purdue.

Candidates for the Frank Broyles Dunderhead of the Week Award have been narrowed to the gutty (or is it gutless?) little Bruins and Florida Coach Steve Spurrier.

In a bit of selective democracy, UCLA Coach Terry Donahue had his team vote on whether to kick a field goal or go for a touchdown with 1:21 left against Arizona. At stake was an NCAA record 243-game scoring streak (as if anyone other than UCLA’s players and some NCAA statistician cared).

Down, 23-0, at the time, UCLA kicked its precious field goal and retired to the locker room with an embarrassing loss and an NCAA record that means zilch.

As for Spurrier, he boldly decided to place Gator quarterback Shane Matthews off-limits to the media this week.

“He’s been under a lot of pressure here the last few weeks,” Spurrier said.

Oh, so sorry. Can we get him a glass of warm milk? A pillow, perhaps? A flavorful mint? Funny, but Spurrier never shielded Matthews from reporters during the Gators’ 10-2 season last year. Nor did he seem to mind when Matthews was heralded as a preseason Heisman candidate and the subject of assorted favorable stories.

Of course, that was before this year’s Florida Flop. The Gators are 1-2, their offensive line can’t block, their star running back can’t run and their very former Heisman candidate is on a pace to throw 27 interceptions. So Spurrier went right to the heart of the problem and restricted media access.

“We’ll see if it will help his play this Saturday,” Spurrier said.

Hey, Steve, you play Louisiana State (1-4) at Florida Field this week. How much more help do you need? Matthews could hold a media filibuster and still beat the Tigers.

And the Broyles Award winner is . . . Spurrier. Our hearty congratulations.

You won’t see his name on any of those Heisman Trophy lists, but Washington State quarterback Drew Bledsoe is earning boffo reviews from Cougar opponents. The latest testimonial comes from Temple Coach Jerry Berndt, whose Owls, 51-10 losers to undefeated Washington State, are no longer saying, “Drew Who?”

“Drew Bledsoe is as good a quarterback as I’ve seen in all my years of football,” Berndt said. And the Cougars? “I think they’re a legitimate football team to be reckoned with in the Pac-10,” he said. . . . Boston College Coach Tom Coughlin on last Saturday’s 24-24 game with West Virginia: “It was a classic Big East matchup.” How classic could it have been? The football league is less than two seasons old and there isn’t even a conference schedule yet. And a statistic of interest: Boston College had a chance to beat West Virginia, but a 43-yard field-goal attempt was blocked with 19 seconds to play. In Coughlin’s 16 games at Boston College, the Eagles have yet to make a field goal longer than 34 yards. . . . No. 5-ranked Texas A&M; is fast becoming the worst undefeated team in the country. Four of the five Aggie victories have been against teams with losing records (LSU, Tulsa, Missouri, Texas Tech--combined 5-14 record), but the average margin of victory is only 8.5 points. How Stanford must be kicking itself for losing to these guys.

Why do people pick on Ohio State Coach John Cooper? That’s easy--after beating Syracuse at the Carrier Dome on Sept. 19, the Buckeyes had two full weeks to prepare for improved but overmatched Wisconsin. What happens? Wisconsin wins. So much for Cooper’s reprieve from the constant and often justified criticism of his program’s ability to win games that matter. . . . Now that UCLA has lost, the bowl picture takes on a decidedly different look. Presenting your weekly update: Fiesta--Stanford vs. Nebraska or Oklahoma; Cotton--Texas A&M; vs. Notre Dame, Florida State or Virginia; Sugar--Tennessee vs. Miami; Orange--Colorado vs. Notre Dame or Florida State; Rose--Washington vs. Michigan. . . . All you need to know about the quality of today’s roster of independents is that Central Florida has the second-best record behind Penn State. . . . Remember when everyone said the Southeastern Conference teams would beat up on each other? It’s true. Only four of the 12 teams have winning records within the conference.

When Florida’s charter plane experienced mechanical problems while returning from a recent game against Tennessee, Gator sophomore defensive tackle Ellis Johnson said no more. Johnson was already scared of flying, but when the plane dropped about 20,000 feet in a few minutes, he decided his airborne days were finished. Rather than accompany the team on the charter flight to Starkville, Miss., last weekend, Johnson chose a 22-hour round trip ride in the Gator equipment truck. Lucky for Johnson that Florida only has one more regular-season flight--to Nashville, Tenn., for a game against Vanderbilt. For Johnson, that’s an 18-hour round-trip ride. . . . No one is more disappointed with Notre Dame quarterback Rick Mirer’s season than Mirer, the Irish and the San Diego State coaching staff. Had Mirer performed as expected, won a Heisman and vaulted to the top of the NFL draft lists, the Aztecs might have had a chance to keep sophomore running back Marshall Faulk for a third season. Now who knows? Mirer is a dismal 54 of 122 (a 44.3% completion rate, down 12% from last season) for 903 yards, five touchdowns and three interceptions. Gone, too, are his national championship hopes, which supposedly were the main reason for his return as a senior. After watching Mirer’s pro value slip, why would Faulk want to risk the same thing?

Top 10

As selected by staff writer Gene Wojciechowski.

No. Team Record 1. Washington 4-0 2. Miami 4-0 3. Colorado 4-0 4. Michigan 3-0-1 5. Tennessee 5-0 6. Penn State 5-0 7. Texas A&M; 5-0 8. Alabama 5-0 9. Florida State 4-1 10. Virginia 5-0

Waiting list: Georgia (4-1), Stanford (4-1), Boston College (4-0-1), Nebraska (3-1), Notre Dame (3-1-1).