Who Needs Copy Editors? Fans Write Better Headlines

Invited by the Atlanta Constitution to phone in suggestions for headlines on Game 2 of the National League Championship Series during which Ron Gant’s grand slam ensured a 13-5 Braves victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates, fans proved themselves to be master punsters.

“Gant Touch This” was the suggestion from Donna Finch. Some of the others: “Just Gan’t Lose,” “Buried at Gant’s Tomb,” “Extrava-Gant” and “Gant Slam.”

The newspaper went with a headline written by a staff copy editor: “GarGANTuan.”

Trivia time: When was the last time UCLA lost its first two Pacific 10 Conference games?

Shrinking A’s: John Eisenberg of the Baltimore Sun suggests that without Jose Canesco, the Oakland A’s should change their name to the Oakland B’s.

“They’re not necessarily inferior to Oakland teams that have slam-dunked the league these past few years,” Eisenberg writes, “but without Canesco, who was traded to the Texas Rangers on Aug. 31 in baseball’s most astonishing piece of business in years, they are somewhat diminished.

“Their shoulders are not as big. Their bats are not as intimidating.”

Only joking: From columnist Art Spander of the San Francisco Examiner: “Remember when someone asked A’s General Manager Sandy Alderson if Canesco was maturing and Alderson quipped, ‘Jose continues to grow with each year and each arrest.’ ”

Sound familiar?: Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle reports that Sean McEnroe, 5, son of John McEnroe, had this outburst at a Davis Cup news conference: “Dad! Someone is taking a picture of me. Cut it out, you.”

Premature?: Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe noted that the back injury to Wayne Gretzky removes the Kings as a contending team in their division.

“With the (San Jose) Sharks and Kings to beat up regularly, the Smythe Division should be a soft ride for Vancouver, Winnipeg, Edmonton and Calgary,” Dupont writes.

Crazy people: Sascha Anisimov is a starting defensive lineman and kicker for Division III Hartwick College in Oneonta, N.Y. He is reportedly the first Russian to play football at an NCAA school.

Anisimov said he learned the basics of the game when he played club football in Moscow in 1989. “He said the sport was portrayed in the Soviet press as “this wild game where people gamble and the players wear crazy uniforms and hurt people.”

Brettmania: When George Brett got his 3,000th hit, it was time for celebration in Kansas City. Even Neil Smith, the Kansas City Chiefs’ all-pro defensive end, found a way to contribute.

He is now stepping back when he sacks the quarterback and simulating a long, smooth baseball swing.

“It’s out of respect for George Brett,” Smith said.

Trivia answer: UCLA lost its first two Pac-10 games in 1979 and finished 5-6 overall and 3-4 in the conference.

Quotebook: Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe on the eccentric behavior of Wade Boggs of the Boston Red Sox: “If Bart Simpson has a favorite player, you know it would have to be Wade Boggs.”