A FORUM FOR COMMUNITY ISSUES : Gripe

One recent day, our office lunch group was discussing the loss of personal safety in a changed world. We range in age from late 20s to mid-40s and we all grew up in places other than Los Angeles. We all remember walking unaccompanied to school as early as kindergarten. We remember doing errands for our parents and neighbors--going to the bakery for a half-dozen rolls, borrowing a spool of thread from the next block or returning a cake pan down the street. My brother and I took long field trips on our tricycles to the other end of the block--well out of the sight and sound of home and parent.

I drive my son to his school. If I send him even out to empty the trash, I stand at the door and watch. I can’t let him go to the next aisle in the grocery store to get another thing on our list because I don’t want to let him out of my sight. When we drive around town, I won’t let him ride with the window open. I’m afraid someone will spit at him or throw something into the car--the least worst things--or try to pull him out of the car when we stop at a light--the worst thing.

I do not consider myself a fearful person. I don’t disregard danger, but neither do I allow myself to be paralyzed by thinking about it. I do go out at night--sometimes with my son--and I am careful. But I wonder constantly how I am going to be able to bring him up to be a capable adult, able to use good judgment and handle various situations when, for fear of his safety, I am petrified to let him out of my sight.