The Thrill of Stuffing Your Face After Stuffing a Ballot in the Box

It’s a warm Election Day and I’m standing in line to get a free hamburger at the Galaxy Grill at Horton Plaza in exchange for flashing my official voter stub.

Technically, this is against federal law, which frowns on anybody offering any inducements (even edible ones) to encourage people to vote.

I keep glancing over my shoulder for federal marshals to arrive and confiscate the burgers, fries and Cokes and slap handcuffs on the waitresses. Democracy dangereux .

The Galaxy and its sister burger emporiums, the Corvette Diner in Hillcrest and T-Bird Diner in Escondido, were offering a free lunch to any voter.

(Similarly, the Pressed4Time cleaners in Poway and the Gaslamp Quarter Theatre were also offering discounted wares to voters.)

The various owners are innocently unaware of the federal law. The law dates from the bad old days of big-city political machines.

The U.S. attorney’s office says that, since the burger stands, dry cleaner and theatre had no “corrupt intent” in their offers, no prosecutorial hammer is planned. Except maybe for a please-never-again letter.

It’s a good day for free burgers and other silliness.

Regarding the latter, KFMB’s Mark Larson is busy casting his “Campaign ‘92” movie.

He’s leaning toward W.C. Fields or Glen Campbell for Bill Clinton; Mr. Rogers for President Bush; Rosanna Arquette for Hilary Clinton; the Quaker Oats man for Barbara Bush; and Yoda for Ross Perot.

Then again he’s considering a trio for the three presidential candidates: “We could get the Three Stooges.”

Richie Peck, 56, a Texas-trained minister who lives in La Mesa and ran for president as a write-in on the “By the People; of the People; for the People” ticket, was conceding defeat in mid-afternoon. But he’s already plotting his next move.

He’s found a spot in the Constitution that he says he’ll invoke to set up a government in exile.

“It’ll take some money to do,” Peck says, “but we’ll announce that we are the new government and people should come to us.”

Peck says his government will be in La Mesa or the mountains of Arkansas. I’ll keep you posted.

Sympathy Vote

Things seen and heard.

* A van was spotted on Election Day in Del Mar with one side covered with “Bush-Quayle ‘92” stickers.

In the middle of the stickers was a handmade sign, “ Only Four More Years.”

Conclusion: When all else fails, use the apologetic approach.

* Speculation is rampant at City Hall that Councilman Ron Roberts will soon resign to become president of the Chamber of Commerce (he’s one of four finalists).

A clue: Roberts on Monday absented himself from a council discussion of the city subsidy for the chamber.

If Roberts knows (or suspects) that he’s about to get the chamber job, it might have been a conflict of interest for him to take part in the council discussion.

Secondary speculation: If Roberts doesn’t get the chamber job, banker Ron Phillips will.

* Three campaign workers at the Bruce Herschensohn headquarters in Clairemont had their car tires slashed over the weekend.

All three cars had Herschensohn bumper stickers. Cars without stickers had no problems.

* Kevin Brass, media critic for the San Diego County Edition of The Times, is leaving to become an investigative reporter for KUSI-TV (Channel 51).

* “Triple Indemnity,” the Rob Reiner spoof of “Double Indemnity,” is filming stunt work in Carlsbad. The stars are Armand Assante and Sean Young.

* Duncan of the people.

Criticized by his opponent as out of touch with his constituents, Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Coronado) used Perry’s Cafe in El Cajon (no relation) as a staging area for the final days of his campaign push.

* Limousine liberal?

Dr. Gary Manchester, a San Diego plastic surgeon, offered his limousine and driver to the Barbara Boxer forces to get voters to the polls.

Going for Broke

Given the Padres’ offloading of expensive talent, fans can be forgiven for finding a (secondary) message in the marquee at San Diego Jack Murphy Stadium:

“Padres Shop Clearance Sale.”