PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE : ‘Discrimination Against Me Will Soon Be Legal in Colorado’

I called my mother a few Sundays ago to discuss the election returns. I am her daughter the Rhodes scholar, but I called to talk about a less popular subject: I am a lesbian, and discrimina tion against me will soon be legal in Colorado.

My parents live in Colorado Springs, home of Coloradans for Family Values, the fundamentalist group that orchestrated passage of Amendment 2. Unless attempts to enjoin the measure are successful, Amendment 2 will prohibit and repeal any and all civil-rights ordinances in the state that forbid discrimination based on sexual orientation. The fundamentalists have vowed similar initiatives in at least 35 states.

In Colorado, ugly, but predictable, gay bashings have ensued, ranging from harassment and beatings to death threats against civil-rights activists and bomb threats forcing the evacuation of businesses with gay and lesbian clienteles. All this because of a bad, but well-marketed idea. In the final days before the election, the fundamentalists ran television commercials featuring select video from gay-pride parades. The ads evoked enough fear and disdain to tip the vote--Amendment 2 won by 6 points. It never occurred to me that some people’s flamboyance might cost them their civil rights.

According to Coloradans for Family Values’ rhetoric, I, as a lesbian, must have a hidden “agenda” to recruit and convert unsuspecting heterosexuals. While I can’t begin to understand the fundamentalists’ zealous fright, it appears to be an unfortunate fear of displacement--by women (not just lesbians) who don’t define themselves in terms of men, and by men (and not just gay men) who display no need to dominate women.

Members of my family have wondered if the “women’s movement” didn’t turn me into a lesbian. When I play that theory backward, it begins to make some sense: Surely, this backlash against gays and lesbians ought to make better feminists out of all of us. The same arguments employed by Coloradans for Family Values--Bible citations, warnings about “mixing” in the workplace--were used against women 20 years ago. Misogyny and homophobia are, after all, kindred hatreds.

At one point, I was on track for the American Dream. “You will never have to worry about having a job, or your place in the world,” a distinguished man told 32 Rhodes scholars as we departed for England in 1982. But I have surmised that this elder Rhodes scholar must have really been speaking to the Bill Clintons among us--probably not to the women (who weren’t even allowed to be Rhodes scholars until 1976), probably not to other minorities and certainly not to gays or lesbians. Our “place in the world” is in true jeopardy.

When Clinton talked about his Oxford days and his personal conflict over the Vietnam War, I was reminded of my own battle fought in an Oxford dorm room. There, I strained to reconcile the image I projected--straight-A student and championship athlete--with my realization about my sexual orientation: Was I a lesbian, or a Rhodes scholar? I despaired over the seeming incongruity.

Since then, I have learned a daily tightrope walk too familiar to the women and men stepping before me, finessing a balance between competing priorities: integrity vs. economic security; truth vs. social acceptance; happiness vs. the privileges that come with even the appearance of heterosexuality. Now, in the civil-rights circus created by “Christians,” we take on this tightrope walk without a net.

Certain politicians have promised to champion our rights, but their methods are curious. Colorado Gov. Roy Romer wants to “create a dialogue” between Coloradans for Family Values and our community, which is akin to suggesting a chat between the Klu Klux Klan and the National Assn. for the Advancement of Colored People. And Denver Mayor Wellington Webb, who appeared on “Arsenio Hall” to denounce boycott efforts, is as transparent as he is beholden to Colorado business leaders who backed his 1990 election victory.

Those of us committed to defeating Amendment 2 know that some people won’t surrender their prejudice. As one activist friend put it, “We won’t be going out to shake hands with people who want to kill us.” But we will reach out to Americans who believe in the freedom to earn a living, make a home, have a parade. We welcome solidarity from those who will not cower to hate, and hold precious the American principle of civil rights for all. To you, we say: “Stand up for America: Boycott Colorado.” Send a message to bigotry’s cowboys before they show up where you live.