Dear Diary: ‘Gunshots Echo in My Head. . . .’

Latoya Hunter wrote in several diary entries about the gunshots she heard that killed the store clerk who sold her candy. Here are excerpts from those entries. She calls her diary Janice.

* Jan. 9, 1991.

Dear Janice, Today gunshots echo in my head. They are the same gunshots that killed an innocent human being right across from my house last night. They are the same gunshots that have scarred me, I think, forever.

Late last night, I was in bed when I heard a man screaming for a police officer. I told myself, I didn’t hear that. Later I told myself I didn’t hear the four gunshots that followed his cry for help. I lay there in bed and it was like I was frozen. I didn’t want to move an inch. I then heard hysterical crying. I ran to the window when I couldn’t keep myself back any longer. What I saw outside were cops arriving. I ran into my parents’ room and woke them up. By that time, tears were pouring unstoppably from my eyes. I couldn’t stop shaking. My parents looked through the window and got dressed. They rushed outside and I followed them. It turned out that I knew the person who got shot. He worked at the store at the corner. He was always so nice to me, he was always smiling. He didn’t know much English but we still managed a friendship.

I can’t believe this happened. Things like this happen everyday in N.Y., but not in my neighborhood, not to people I know.

* Jan. 11, 1991.

Dear Janice, Today the store was closed. It was closed yesterday also. The blood stains are still across the street. In school I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, yesterday was the same thing. I don’t think I’ll get over this for a long while.

* Jan. 15, 1991.

Dear Janice, Since the murder I haven’t been particularly interested in going outside. Today I was thinking about everything. My friends have been doing things and I haven’t been there. They’ll tell me what’s happened the previous day, and I’ll feel left out. I was thinking I shouldn’t spend so much time in the house anymore. I think tomorrow I’ll go outside for a while. This is going to sound funny but for every car that passes me by while I’m walking down the street, a thought comes to me. It says “I’m going to die now, the person in the car is going to pull out a gun and shoot.” The funny thing is when that thought occurs, I don’t feel scared that much. I feel calm and ready to face my death. I’ve discovered about myself that when the day of my death comes, I’ll be ready and I’ll have a calm soul.