We couldn’t wait a minute longer: One...

We couldn’t wait a minute longer: One wire service issued this advisory for today:

“3:30 p.m. Century City--O. J. Simpson will hold a news conference to discuss his participation as honorary coin-tosser for Super Bowl XXVII.”

So many questions for O. J. to answer: How many hours a day has he been practicing? Will he flip right-handed or left-handed? Let the coin fall or catch it? The game itself will be an anticlimax.

Such a deal: The RTD board of directors admits that there have been “concerns raised by . . . economically disadvantaged transit users” that the cost of the monthly bus/rail pass ($42) is “often a hardship.”

Are you ready for the solution? The RTD is offering a two-week pass for . . . $23.

Or you could buy two for $46.

Little Tramp on trial: The film “Chaplin” brings to life a once-prominent attorney whose statue stands outside the County Courthouse on Grand Avenue: Joseph Scott (portrayed in the movie by a snarling James Woods).

Scott, who was immortalized in bronze for his many civic good works, successfully represented 23-year-old actress Joan Barry in a paternity suit against Charlie Chaplin in the 1940s.

A colorful attorney in those freewheeling days, Scott was not shy about attacking an opponent. Years earlier, he drew the wrath of a foreign government when he proclaimed during a divorce trial that one witness possessed the “dirty, filthy, low mind that is so prevalent in France.”

During the Chaplin trial, Scott called the comic everything from “a cheap Cockney cad” to “a gray-haired old buzzard.” The last charge was interesting because Chaplin was 55 at the time, and Scott was 77.

Dictionary required: Jerry Earle says that from the look of an ad that a company ran in an apparel newspaper, it’s obvious why the firm has an opening.

The profile is everything in Hollywood: Al Hix noticed a crime blotter item in a Hollywood newspaper that described a “29-year-old Caucasian male, with blond hair and blue eyes, 5-foot 10-inches, 180 pounds wearing a yellow shirt and gray sweat pants with a very polite-looking long nose.”

What’s not in a name: Greg Horbachevsky of Glendale was shopping for blank videotapes and decided he wanted to “buy American.” He looked at the Polaroid brand, which said, “Made in Japan.” Then he looked at the Fuji brand, which said, “Made in USA.” He rented instead.

miscelLAny:

Sunday’s halftime extravaganza at the Super Bowl, starring Michael Jackson, somewhat dwarfs the halftime show of Super Bowl I in 1967. The featured performers that year were bands from the universities of Michigan and Arizona.