Pack Up Your Troubles by Planning Your Move

Note to any friends or acquaintances who believe that I will always be delighted to help them move: I would rather have white-hot railroad spikes hammered into my brain.

Ask me to do anything else--defuse that pesky unexploded incendiary bomb in the back yard, field test a bulletproof vest, saw myself in half, eat worms. Anything.

Moving, it’s said, is only slightly less stressful than death or divorce in life’s grand continuum. I say it’s slightly more stressful than being sucked out of a commercial airplane window at 37,000 feet over Goose Bay, Canada.

When faced with an impending move, the same guy who brings a list of hourly priorities along on his vacation to Tahiti will find himself aimlessly sitting in a corner, flipping cards into a hat and giggling like Elmer Fudd.

The only people on earth who know how to execute a move properly are masochists and professional movers.

Masochists are the types who buy Ben-Gay by the tank car and are fond of chirping, “Moving this weekend? Sure! Be glad to help! Let’s start with the pianos!”

Professionals are people like Sara Surface, an instructor with the household pack and load division of Indianapolis-based Mayflower Transit, and they know that brains are at least as important as brawn when planning a move.

Her advice can be grouped into three categories, beginning with:

Obvious stuff you’ll forget about in the chaos:

* Plan ahead. Start your list-making at least five weeks before the move.

* Decide what you’ll take, what you’ll throw away, what you’ll sell before the move.

* Make your travel arrangements.

* Arrange to have the utilities turned off at the house you’re leaving and turned on at the house you’re going to.

* File a change of address with the post office.

* Close out or transfer bank accounts and notify insurance companies.

* Finish all your errands.

* Return library books.

* Pick up any purchases you have in lay-away.

Not-so-obvious stuff that you’d probably forget anyway:

* Keep the phones connected until the day after the move so you can handle any incoming calls on moving day. Remember to take the phones with you.

* Unless they’re helping you move, try to keep your friends away while the pros are working.

* Arrange for a baby-sitter for moving day.

* Plan on using up the food in the refrigerator by moving day, and defrost the refrigerator if it needs it.

* Drain water out of hoses before packing them.

* Close out any safety deposit boxes.

Specialized stuff:

* If you’re using pros, plan on being with them throughout moving day. You’re their best consultant.

* Drain any gas out of the mower and purge any propane tanks. Otherwise, a mover probably won’t take them. Aerosol cans, flammable or toxic objects and ammunition are also on the don’t-haul list. You’ll have to take them yourself or dispose of them.

* Most carriers won’t ship pets, either. Make sure you provide for them.

* Assemble a trip pack for yourself. This is the stuff you’ll need during your trip and first thing at your new home. Non-perishable food, prescription drugs, phone numbers, documents, enough clothes, toilet articles, books and games, etc.

* If you’re doing your own packing, use sturdy cartons and tape them shut with sturdy packing tape; don’t simply fold the end flaps closed. If possible, pack appliances in their original shipping containers. Fill all containers to the top and pack them tightly, because movers will stack the containers in the van. Pack heavy items like books in smaller containers so they can be lifted. Pack items of similar size and weight in the same container. Save newspapers to wrap individual items for packing.