L.A. SPEAK

Nurse-noise: Some terms to help close the health-care gap and make your hospital stay more interesting. blades: n . surgeons. “I heard she was dating a neuro- blade .” celestial discharge: n . death. “Mr. Jones got his celestial discharge papers today.” code 99: n . cardiac arrest or other life-threatening emergency. “We had two code 99s on the shift and only one RN on the whole floor.” SYN : CODE BLUE crash cart: n . a cart with life-sustaining drugs and a defibrillator for cardiac arrests and other medical emergencies. “Get the crash cart . We got a code blue in 516A.” death crew: n . the nurses who work the overnight shift, when the mortality rate is highest. “She’s been on the death crew too long.” ECU: the eternal-care unit; the hereafter. “Mrs. Smith went to ECU last night.” gomer: n . a confused patient who requires complete maintenance. Origin unclear; some say it’s from Gomer Pyle, others say it’s from an old nursing manual. “We got a real gomer in from ICU yesterday.” holy trinity: n . physicians who think they’re medical gods. Originally given to three local surgeons who practice at Daniel Freeman Hospital. “Here comes the holy trinity, girls. It’s time to genuflect and bow.” piggyback: v. to add medication or other substances to a patient’s existing intravenous line. “ Piggyback the Demerol if the patient in 332 wakes up and complains of pain.” white caps: n . nurses; from the days when they wore starched white caps. “My husband’s a white cap at County General.”