This Problem Goes Way Over the Heads of Texas Golfers

A gaggle of Canada geese has taken up residence on the seventh hole at the Los Rios Country Club in Plano, Tex., unnerving golfers with full-throated honking and causing course damage.

“They’re getting on the greens and pecking holes in them,” Jerry Cryer, the club’s head pro, told the Associated Press. “And they’re using the course as their bathroom, and that kills the grass.”

Ornithologist Steve Runnels said that geese are becoming a problem at golf courses and parks across the United States.

“They’re grazers, like cows, and they destroy grass,” he said. “They can become an absolute nuisance.”

Most Canada geese fly through Texas in the late fall on their way to Florida or Mexico, stopping for a night or two, Runnels said, but the gaggle in Plano--two adults and seven goslings--might stay.

“They know a good thing when they see it,” Runnels said. “They are domesticated because people throw food out to them. They see no reason to leave.”

Trivia time: Who is the only active NBA player who has scored more than 15,000 points but has never played in an NBA All-Star game?

All the necessities: From the Sporting News, regarding former Dodger executive Al Campanis: “Campanis . . . owns a Dodger Stadium-sized plot of land about 300 yards from the Aegean Sea on the Greek island of Kos--a plot of land suitable for building a hotel and a casino. Only one gambling den is permitted per island and tourist-haven Kos doesn’t have one. So, Big Al jetted over last month to confer with Grecian lawyers about his hopes of setting the roulette wheels in motion.”

Attention, Jim Healy: According to the city’s list of 190,340 registered dog names, 139 dogs in Los Angeles are named Ben, one is named Ben Ben, 47 are named Benjamin, one is named Benzini, 54 are named Benny, one is named Benjimen, nine are named Bennie, two are named Benito, one is named Benshalom and two are named Benzo, but none is named Benoit.

The genius: On the subject of recruiting, Stanford Coach Bill Walsh told Glenn Dickey of the San Francisco Chronicle: “Actually, I enjoy the home visits--once I get there. I’ve never been very good at directions, and most of the visits are at night in the suburbs. I’m usually driving around in circles, and it’s hard to find a phone booth to call for directions.”

Added Dickey: “He’s not exaggerating; Walsh got lost on a recruiting trip in Oakland last year.”

Easy pickin’: Said broadcaster Dick Schaap, at a roast for Coach Doug Moe of the Philadelphia 76ers: “Roasting Doug Moe is like ripping the clothes off Madonna--she helps you too much.”

Men of Troy: Said Harold Miner, Miami Heat rookie and student of basketball history, when asked if he knew who played in the backcourt with Bob Cousy in the early part of the Boston Celtics’ dynasty: “Oh, come on. Bill Sharman. He went to my school, USC.”

Trivia answer: Eddie Johnson of the Seattle SuperSonics.

Quotebook: Detlef Schrempf of the Indiana Pacers, a German Olympian, after it was announced that the Phoenix Suns would play in an exhibition tournament in Munich next season: “I hope they don’t let Charles Barkley get a taste of our German beer. If he gets into that, we could have a problem.”