Allen Brings Bad News for Rest of AFC

Bruce Jenkins of the San Francisco Chronicle writes that the Kansas City Chiefs’ signing of Marcus Allen “was brutal news for Buffalo, Miami or any other AFC team trying to keep Joe Montana out of the Super Bowl.

“Allen may be past his prime, but after two seasons in Al Davis’ doghouse, his 33-year-old legs are fresh. His motivation level will be frightening.”

Trivia time: Name the baseball player who played in more than 100 regular-season games and in three World Series games, but never had an at-bat in the major leagues. Hint: He wasn’t a pitcher.

Air Jordan: From Peter Vecsey of USA Today: “McDonald’s new commercial, perhaps? Up the Atlantic City Expressway. Down the fairway. Through the Casino. Off the blackjack table. Off the Roulette Wheel. Off the croupier’s chest. Into the slot machine. Nothing but debt!”

Golf oddity: A birdie and a hole in one on the same shot? Impossible, you say. Unfortunately, Lawrence Bieker’s tee shot killed a horned lark on the par-three, 133-yard sixth hole at the Hayes Center (Neb.) Golf Club.

Kyle Gartrell, who was helping to tend the sand green during a recent tournament, said the bird was on the green and took flight just as Bieker’s shot approached.

Film flop: Gene Collier of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette writes that the late Billy Conn played himself in the 1942 motion picture “The Pittsburgh Kid.”

Added Collier: “Offered the starring role in the life story of Gentleman Jim Corbett, Conn snapped, ‘No thanks; one stink bomb is enough.’ ”

Green fee: From Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News: “Lee Trevino once warned his fellow tourists they didn’t know what real pressure was unless they had played a $10 Nassau with only $5 in their pocket.

“But how about Fred Couples? Some back-fence busybody figured out that Couples must finish fourth in at least one million-dollar tournament each month simply to pay his $52,000 monthly alimony to Miz Deborah.”

Now he’s anti-fun: Members of Congress who are reviewing baseball’s antitrust exemption are being offered hard-to-get tickets to next month’s All-Star game, former major league pitcher Jim Bunning said.

Bunning, a Republican congressman from Kentucky, sent out a “bribe alert” this week to House and Senate members regarding the league’s offer to sell lawmakers tickets (at $60 list price) to the game, scheduled July 13 at Oriole Park at Camden Yards in Baltimore.

“Before you don your baseball cap, grab your glove and dash off to the ticket counter, I suggest you stop and think a moment,” Bunning wrote.

The Committee on Standards of Official Conduct says buying tickets does not constitute a bribe.

Trivia answer: Herb Washington of the Oakland Athletics, who spent his two-year career as a pinch-runner.

Quotebook: Bud Collins of the Boston Globe: “In tennis circles, Mary Joe Fernandez rates as an intellectual. She actually graduated from high school.”