As a matter of fact, officer, I...

As a matter of fact, officer, I do own the road: Forget about those polls that say there are more desirable cities to live in than L.A. After all, God lives here. It’s official. Department of Motor Vehicles records list an L.A. driver whose driver’s license says “God.”

In case you’re wondering, God is 48 years old, has blond hair and blue eyes, stands 6 feet tall, weighs 175 pounds, and--who’d have guessed it?--must wear corrective lenses.

Also, and this should come as little surprise, God has received no traffic tickets in recent years.

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Note to atheists: For those who contend that there is no God--especially in L.A.--DMV spokesman Bill Madison says that the agency’s manual states that a driver may “legally use any name as long as the intent is not to defraud.” It doesn’t even have to be a legal name, Madison said, as long as the DMV also has the “true name and legal residence on file in case we have to cross-match.”

He added: “For instance, if someone named God gets picked up. . . .”

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Speak now or forever hold your breath: We were left off the guest list for the underwater wedding of Hollywood producer Jay Bernstein and model Cabrina Finn, which miffed us a bit since several publications were there--including Skin Diver magazine.

Oh well. We didn’t have any decent fins to wear, anyway.

Those of you who were in the same boat as we (so to speak) can still share in this intimate event. TV’s “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” will show a tape of the nuptials Sept. 25 on CBS. We’re sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the ocean.

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They love to fly the Pope and it shows. Does it ever: The media advisory said it was “the only opportunity to view the inside of the American Airlines Boeing 767 that will carry the papal party to Rome following World Youth Day.”

It added: “A bed for Pope John Paul II will be installed in the first-class cabin of the plane. The work will be done overnight Saturday and the plane will be available to the media (at LAX) . . . 5 a.m. to 7 a.m., Sunday, Aug. 15.”

Go back to sleep, American Airlines. You’ll never top the Popemobile.

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Do we hear a bid, Gov. Wilson?JERICHO, a statewide group that monitors legislation affecting the poor and elderly, is holding an auction in Sacramento tonight to raise funds. Among the items that will be bid upon is a chance to get together with Sen. Art Torres (D-L.A.), who “will cook dinner for four at his house.”

Another prize being offered by an airline is “two tickets to Los Angeles.” Please, no cracks about low bidder getting four tickets to Los Angeles.

miscelLAny:

The tome, “The Psychic World of California,” recalls that in 1968 the L.A. County Board of Supervisors dubbed one Louise Huebner as the county’s official witch.