THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA JOB MARKET: LOOKING FOR LIGHT : Horror Stories : Personnel experts say nothing--<i> nothing</i> --is as important in applying for a job as the interview itself. Yet the things people do during those crucial moments can make you laugh and groan at the same time.

The young woman who walked in to the personnel manager’s office looked very familiar to Pat Allen.

Too familiar.

As the applicant was jabbering about all her qualifications for an accounting job, Allen, who is personnel manager at Dep Corp., searched her own mental Rolodex to remember where she had seen this woman before. She asked the woman if they had met, but the woman insisted they had not.

Then Allen remembered. The job-seeker had been sitting in that same chair just one year earlier--applying for a different job. “She honestly didn’t remember that she had been here before,” said Allen. “Obviously, she was not a very deep thinker. Needless to say, she was embarrassed. And, of course, she didn’t get the job.”

Experts say that virtually nothing--not your resume or even your employment background--plays a more vital role in landing a job than the interview. “The people who have the best interviews--whether or not they have the best qualifications--are the ones who land the jobs,” said Albert French, a consultant and author of “How to Locate Jobs and Land Interviews.”

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A job interview is surely the last place anyone wants to embarrass themselves. But all too often--many times due to poor preparation and other times due to tension or the fickle hands of fate--that is where the strangest things can happen. If and when they do happen--say you fall out of your chair or spill your coffee--experts say the best way to handle such a blooper is to have a good-natured laugh at the situation, then get on with the interview.

“If you screw up, admit it,” said Charles Sharp, a veteran San Diego-based executive recruiter. “It shows integrity when someone has the guts to point out--and even laugh at--their own mistakes.”

Sometimes, however, the mistake can be a doozy.

One top New York executive recruiter, who asked not to be named, was dumbstruck when a man he was interviewing for a job propositioned him.

“It’s the absolute worst thing you can do during an interview,” said the recruiter, who immediately dismissed the candidate.

Several years ago, Steve Fisher, owner of Goldfish Public Relations in Los Angeles, faced his moment of crisis even before he arrived at the job interview. Just as he was about to leave home, the spring on his garage door snapped and he was unable to get his car out.

It took a while, but after some struggling, he was able to open the garage door and prop it up with a piece of lumber. “I think this is why people start their own businesses,” said Fisher. “That way, they don’t have to go to job interviews.” Perhaps no one knows the faux pas of job interviewing better than corporate human-resources managers.

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Recently, Accountemps, a nationwide temporary personnel service, asked 200 of them this question: “What is the most unusual thing you have ever witnessed or heard of happening during a job interview?”

Here are some of their responses:

* “Man brought in his five children and cat.”

* “Woman arrived with snake around her neck. She said she took the pet everywhere.”

* “Shortly after sitting down, she brought out a line of cosmetics and started a strong sales pitch.”

* “The applicant walked in and asked why he was here.”

* “The woman brought a large bag of canceled checks and thumbed through them during the interview.”

* “When asked about his loyalty, the applicant showed a tattoo of his girlfriend’s name.”

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None of this, of course, is acceptable behavior.

“The job interview is the first major step toward securing a new job, but too many candidates act in a self-defeating manner,” said Robert Half, founder of Accountemps. “Interviewers look for candidates who are enthusiastic, businesslike, well-spoken and ask pertinent questions about the company.”

John Wareham, author of “Anatomy of a Great Executive,” still remembers an executive he interviewed to head a major manufacturing firm. “Just as the interview began, he asked me, ‘Would you mind if I removed my shoes?’ ” recalled Wareham. “The next thing I knew, he put his feet up on the couch and completely stretched out.”

He didn’t get the job.

Although job interview miscues are rarely so overt, said Wareham, “Remember, the interviewer is looking for a reason--any reason--not to give you the job. So any little flaw becomes important.”

Take the woman who came in to apply for a desk job at the Los Angeles ad agency Fotouhi Alonso Advertising & Marketing. She came dressed in a hot-pink mini-skirt. That was all Farida Fotouhi, president of the agency, had to see. “How you dress should reflect the position you’re applying for,” she said.

Beware of the “trick” interview. While talking with candidates for supervisory positions, one personnel manager of a medium-sized manufacturing company makes it a habit to grab his chest suddenly and collapse, as if he is having a heart attack.

“The object is not to panic,” said another personnel manager who is familiar with this pressure-cooker tactic. “But of course, everyone does.”

How to Avoid Job Interview Terror

Here is a list of interview tips from Albert French, author of “How to Locate Jobs and Land Interviews.”

Before the Interview * Call to confirm the interview time. * Know the interviewer’s name, title and phone number. * Know the name of the company and have directions on how to get there. * Make sure your appearance is appropriate. * Take along two pens, two copies of your resume and a list of references. * Make sure to arrive at least 10 minutes before the interview so you can relax a bit.

After the Interview * Send a thank-you note within 24 hours. * Call the interviewer about the job at a time specified at the closing of the interview. * If you are told someone else was hired, try to find out why.